


Growing Through The Mud

by AristoMuse



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Akuma, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Because Cross, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Brothels, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Growth, Character Study, Christianity, F/M, Fluff, Growing Up, Growing Up Together, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Prostitution, Japanese Culture, Japanese Mythology & Folklore, Kanda Yuu Swears a Lot, Pouty Kanda, Pre-Canon, Young Allen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-07 02:27:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 38,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15208814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AristoMuse/pseuds/AristoMuse
Summary: One of the few humans left alive in Japan, Ren is the latest in line of a long generation of shinto priests and priestesses. She has never believed in holy powers- how could she when she lives in fear of Akumas every day?- But life proves her wrong and she loses the last things she holds dear. Yet in spite of a childhood spent cowering in a cage, she survives with the help of a mysterious man and escapes her prison.She will live, and she will fight to purify this beautiful and horrible world with other exorcists.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I got back into D.Gray-Man and I was really tempted to write an OC fic, so here it is! I know OC fics carry a certain stigma to them because the OC usually either ends up as a stereotype or a mary sue/gary stu. I will definitely do my best to avoid that, but with a series like DGM where there's magic, ninja-like acrobatics, and different uses of power, Ren may have certain traits that could be characterized as unique.
> 
> This story begins several years pre-canon and will expand upon the years of 1882 to 1891 which is when canon begins

"Ren." 

The young girl, barely a preteen, knelt on the worn mat and kept her head down. "Yes, Ojii-sama?" Ren answered quietly, her choppily cut hair hiding her face in a wave of ebony. As she kept her head down, she took in the details on her person. Her hands were rough, with callouses building on the fingers of her right hand. Her legs were skinny, too skinny, but it was common here where food is scarce and monitored. Her miko-in-training kimono and hakama have long since faded from its pristine white and red, and were now a dull gray and brown. It's hard to get new clothes when there are so few humans around.

When all there is in Japan are demons.

The elderly man sat in front of her on the veranda sighed deeply, his wrinkles creasing his face further. He wasn't even that old, a mere 52 years, and yet their lives and situation had stressed him beyond his current age. "It is almost time." He whispered in a gravelly voice. "You must take over my duties."

Ren clenched her hands on her lap. "...What is the point?" She asks bitterly. "No gods will save us. Ookuninushi-sama, Amaterasu-sama, even Inari-sama has forsaken us. We're only doing this to distract us from reality." She gritted her teeth and glared up at him with a tear stricken gaze. "We'll all die soon!" 

Her grandfather quickly shushed her, a panicked expression covering his face. "Be quiet!" He hissed, placing a finger in front of his mouth. "Do you want the demons to hear us?"

"Maybe I do!" Ren argued, though she did lower her voice. Even though she's angry, her fear was stronger. "They're going to kill us sooner or later, might as well get it over with-" Her breath hitched and she fought the urge to break down in tears. It's already happened too many times. "...We're not free, Ojii-sama. Our life is only an illusion."

He watched her forlornly and looks up at the night sky, flinching when he noticed something flying in the distance. "...You must believe." He implored gently. "Even though the gods do not answer us, the fact that we are even in this world says something of them."

"That they're cruel maybe."

"Watch your mouth." He warned, narrowing his tired eyes. "You are still the next Miko of this shrine and you will conduct yourself accordingly. The people here need hope, and you are it. Please, Ren-chan. You must believe that some day, everything will change." He reached out and clasped her shoulder with a strong hand. "Go practice your koto and then sleep. You will need the rest for tomorrow during your ceremony."

Sighing in defeat, Ren nodded reluctantly. "Yes, Ojii-sama." She mumbled, bowed low to the floor, and got up to leave the room. 

When the shoji door slid shut, the elderly man brought a hand to cover his mouth, disguising his coughs in his skin. His whole body trembled as he forced the air out of his lungs, and he tried his best to be quiet, even when the sharp twangs of the traditional Japanese instrument echoed throughout their small shrine house.

After a few minutes, he took his hand away and looked at it in sorrow. "My end is near..." He whispered to no one. Standing up from his seiza position, he went to a nearby wash basin and washed away the black blood. "You better arrive soon, Marian..."

"Ren _has_ to be compatible."

 

* * *

 

 

Her fingers dancing over the strings of her worn koto, Ren let her mind drift in the darkness of her small room, not caring about the mid-spring chill. No one was allowed to keep the lights on. It would attract the demons that preyed on humans for sport.

Her country was a hellhole, almost uninhabitable. Everyone went about their days as if there weren't demons at every corner, in every shadow. Every day, more and more people would just disappear, leaving their clothes and a cloud of dust in their stead. 

Her parents had went the same way.

The koto screeched from a wrong flick of a finger and she flinched. They had believed in the gods, but the gods never cared about humans. There was no hope, and she knew her induction as the new Miko wouldn't bring any life back in her community's eyes. Everyone knew they would die soon enough, they just hide it behind sake and false prayers. 

She bit her lip, hard enough that she felt warm liquid travel down from where her teeth pierced her skin. She hates this. She hates living in this cage, knowing that any day, any minute now, she could die. 

Her grandfather was wise but he's also a fool for thinking anything would change. Just because he had a taste of freedom decades ago doesn't mean she would. 

Giving up playing for the night, Ren moved to her small window and slid the rice paper, showing a peaceful image of the moon. Tomorrow, she will be inducted as the new Miko. She will perform the traditional kagura dance, swear her oaths to the gods, and begin her duty. A lifetime of "banishing" evil spirits and blessing her people.

Ren closed her eyes, letting the moonlight bathe her face. She knows that the little magic she possessed isn't enough to fight against the demons. Her grandfather had taught her all she knew, but she just...doesn't have the power. Maybe because she's too young right now, or maybe her "faith" affects it.

Either way, she knew being a Miko would change nothing. She would be caged here like an animal waiting to be slaughtered.

Any day now could be her end and the one thing she believed, is that there is no escaping.

 

* * *

 

 

A boot slammed down on the docks as soon as the boat reached the shore. No one was around to witness this, letting the man climb up onto the wooden dock without any trouble. The cherry blossom trees nearby rustled from the breeze, blowing its ethereal pink petals in the night. A golden blur zoomed around its owner, looking around curiously.

Now finally on land, Cross Marian made a tsk sound and fingered his weapon, his sharp eyes already making out several shadows in the trees. "This damn place again...This trip better have been worth it." He muttered as he pulled out Judgement and took the safety off. "He promised me several bottles of his finest sake, after all."

A howl echoed in the distance, followed by several more. They were hungry for human death.

A green glow emanated from within his jacket, thrumming with anticipation. Soon...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ren - Lotus (winkwonk)  
> Hakama - traditional Japanese trousers  
> Miko - a japanese shrine maiden who specializes in banishing evil spirits, blessings, and magic  
> Ookuninushi - Considered god of nation-building, farming, business, and medicine.  
> Amaterasu - the sun goddess, considered the most important goddess, and is also the goddess of mikos  
> Inari - god of rice, fertility, tea, and foxes  
> Koto - a traditional string instrument, commonly called an asian piano.  
> Seiza - traditional japanese sitting position where you sit with your legs tucked beneath you  
> Shoji - rice paper doors  
> Sakura- cherry blossom  
> Sake - traditional rice wine  
>  
> 
> Let me know what you think! I'm really excited in continuing this fic, and it probably won't reach the canon storyline for a while so that Ren can grow into her own character.


	2. Chapter 2

When the pale rays of the morning sun intruded upon her small room, Ren reluctantly cracked her eyes open before clenching them shut once more. Bringing up her blanket, she huddled underneath her old futon, not wanting to face today. Her ceremony was scheduled for later, when day met night. She really didn't want to do this. 

The sound of splashing outside reminded her, however, that her friends were waiting for their meals, and so she forced herself out of bed.

Yawning into her palm, she stood up and rolled her futon into the closet before moving to the small mirror placed against the wall. Grasping a comb made from bone- one of her mother's old possessions that she selfishly took for herself- Ren combed her hair. One hundred strokes, well timed and concise as demanded by muscle memory. Just like what her mother used to do for her.

Tying up the end with a red ribbon, she dressed in her kimono and hakama and finally stepped outside onto the veranda. More splashing sounds incited a small smile from her and she hurried her pace to the pond in the back of the shrine grounds.

It may sound stupid, but...her family's koi had always been there for her. Always hungry and affectionate for food, they would come up to the surface when they saw she was there. When she would feed them, they would sucker her arm with their large mouths as if they were giving her kisses. They were the only ones who could make her smile these days, and with today being today, she needed them more than ever. 

Turning at the last corner of the shrine, a bottle of fish food under her arm, Ren stopped in place and her eyes went wide from what she was seeing.

What..?

"Stop squirmin'...!" The man muttered as he crouched down to grasp Suchi - a beautiful white and red koi- from the pond. Suchi flailed her body, trying desperately to get out of danger and back into her home, and could only gasp for moisture as the man proceeded to- to _devour_ her. His admittedly sharp teeth- too sharp for a human's- tore right through her scales, not caring as her tail smacked his face. A face of a foreigner, with a sharp jaw, narrow hooded eyes, and a strong brow. What was absolutely foreign about him wasn't his gray skin- perhaps it was common among his people- but his _eyes_.

A menacing yellow that held no love or compassion for the creature he was currently eating, nor for her when his gaze shifted from the pond to the shrine.

Ren was frozen in her spot, knuckles white from the force of her clenching her hands. Whoever he was, he was dangerous, and she was _vulnerable_. She had no weapons on her- her bow and arrows were stored in the shrine proper- and she didn't know any offensive magics.

This man was eating her friend.

And she couldn't do anything.

"Oh!" The man spoke, the remains of her friend poking out of his mouth. If he didn't look at her as if she was a lowly insect ready to be crushed under the heel of his expensive shoes, or in the process of devouring her fish, she would've thought it was kind of comical. "Do you live here?" He asked in perfect Japanese. "Sorry for trespassing. You see, I'm on my way to Edo and thought to take a break. I was getting a little hungry..." He slowly drifted off his sentence when he realized his words weren't really getting through to her shell-shocked state, and he sighed. "Well, I can see I'm not wanted here." 

He stood up in his foreign suit, all smooth black fabric and a round coned hat on his curly black hair. In her fear-stricken mind, Ren noted that he was tall, and intimidating, even with the suave smirk on his admittedly handsome features. Her eyes, still wide and unblinking, darted down to his hand where he dropped the freshly picked carcass of her friend onto the grass. All that was left of her was her bones and her fins. Nothing else of her remained. Suchi...

Ren looked back up and gasped when she realized the man had disappeared. Her head swiveled back and forth trying to find his dark figure in the vicinity. Everything was quiet, not even the river running through the pond and under the bridge could break the silence. As if he had come and taken the natural order out of place.

Taking a shaky breath, she stumbled over to the pond, the grass crunching underneath her straw sandals, and with a muffled scream, she finally saw what he had left behind.

It was quiet because nothing was alive.

The entire pond was filled with the bones of her friends, all picked clean right down to their cartilage. None of them had been spared in his feast, and what was supposed to be a serene and lively pond was now a grave.

Her friends...Her precious koi...

Their simple-minded affection for her...Their kisses...

Collapsing on her knees, Ren took the bones of Suchi in her trembling hands and held them close to her chest as she cried. Her tears fell, dampening her hakama, and yet not a sound left her. How could she make any noise, even with the death of her friends, when the demons were watching?

That man...There was no way he was human.

He had to be a demon too. Even though he hadn't killed her, he _could've_ , and that frightened her to her core.

 

* * *

 

With a muffled heart, Ren reached into the pond and pulled out all that was left of her friends and held them with her kimono sleeve as if it was a basket. Holding them close to her, she stood up and made her way to the side of the shrine grounds, to where the fire pit was. This was where they burned the dead, if there was even a body to burn. Usually it was used to purify the dust left behind when people "disappeared," headed by her grandfather and most recently by her. 

The fire burned brightly, flashes of blue, green, and purple showing up in the sea of red. With one small whimper, Ren closed her eyes and hugged her friends once more. "...Izanami-sama," She whispered reluctantly. It irritated her that she was invoking the name of a god, but what else was she to do? "Please show compassion. I know they're not human, but...I will pray for their little spirits." 

Taking a deep breath, she grasped the edge of her sleeve and launched all the bones directly into the fire. She watched blankly as the flames crackled, and slowly, the bones turned black and crumbled into the pit, signifying their purification into the afterlife. 

Clapping her hands twice, Ren bowed her head in silence. "Goodbye..." She whispered a few moments later, and sighed deeply. How much more will she lose before she too inevitably died..?

"Ren? Ren!" 

Her grandfather's voice echoed in the courtyard and she reluctantly took a step away, away from the fire pit, away from her friends and the remains of other children and her parents. "Coming, Ojii-sama!" She answered, turning her back and heading to the front of the shrine. 

When she made it to where her grandfather's voice originated from, she paused warily. Another foreigner?

His bright red locks shined in the morning sun, some of it hidden by his wide brimmed hat. Half his face was obscured by some sort of white mask, with the other half being glasses. His long black coat had gold trimmings and sleeve cuffs. Rich. Powerful. A large black box was behind him, printed with a cross and held together with a chain. He smoked some sort of paper tobacco in his mouth, like a disposable opium pipe, and she could see there was some sort of bulge strapped to the side of his leg. A weapon?

A golden blur zoomed around her and Ren gasped, taking a step back. It stopped just inches from her nose and she had to crisscross her eyes to see it. It was some sort of flying...sphere? It also sported a cross on its "face," and it had horns and little stubby paws. It didn't have eyes or any distinguishable sense feature, but it hovered just fine with its golden wings and its long golden tail that ended in a puff. 

It nuzzled against her face, almost like an affectionate greeting, and Ren couldn't help but smile a little. It was kind of...cute. "Hello, little one..."

"Timcampy!"

At the sound of what was probably its name, Timcampy flew back to the foreigner who was standing with her grandfather. Ren followed after it at a more sedate pace, still wary of this mysterious man. After seeing that foreign man eat all her friends, she wasn't about to trust this man either.

"Hoo..." The man eyed her from the forest of red hair that covered most of his face and he grinned. " _So this is your granddaughter huh,_ Saitou _. Pretty cute, I'd say. Would be cuter if she smiled and maybe a few years older..._ "

Ren had no idea what he said, but from the way he was leering at her like a man who had too much to drink, she could guess it was inappropriate.

Her grandfather huffed and actually reached over to smack the man right in his chest, pushing him farther away. " _Marian! You're being inappropriate. I didn't call you all the way here just so you can sexually harass my_ Miko _granddaughter._ "

The man- Marian?- Only laughed. The sound was crisp and loud, unfettered by any fear or restraint, and it took her by surprise. It had been so long since anyone had laughed like that, never mind even cracking a smile, that the sound was almost foreign to her. It made her nervous that he could attract more demons, but...

That kind of audacity was usually backed by some sort of foolproof measure. Why was he here?

"Ojii-sama..." She murmured to her grandfather who turned to her. "Who is he?"

"I can introduce myself." Marian cut in, this time in perfect Japanese, which again took her by surprise. Who was this man..? "Listen up, little girl. My name is Cross Marian and your grandpa here," He slung an arm around the older man. "Asked for a huge favor from me, for you."

What..?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Koi - freshwater carp, prized for their beautiful scales and their ability as bottom feeders  
> Izanami- the first female god, said to have gifted life with death  
> Saitou- A common last name in Japan, consisting of the characters for "shrine/worship" and "wisteria"


	3. Chapter 3

Taking a sip of her tea, Ren looked between her grandfather and the man who claimed to be his friend, Cross Marian. They were sat in the small office that was inside the shrine building once Cross introduced himself. Even though she and her grandfather were drinking the tea she had prepared, Cross had immediately demanded alcohol and was currently savoring a cup of their special Inari sake. 

Timcampy alternated from sitting on his master's hat to fluttering around her, as if he was trying to relieve some of the tension in the room. It made her want to smile. He- It seemed like a he- was like a little bird, pure and curious. 

He landed on the rim of her cup and tilted his body, one of his wings pointing toward the tea inside. Giving him a questioning look, Ren nodded without knowing what he was asking and gasped in surprise when a mouth suddenly appeared on his spherical body. His mouth was wide, stretching from side to side, and humongous teeth grinned up at her before leaning down to drink the rest of her tea. "Uhh..." Ren uttered slowly, watching as he let out a big burp after. "Can...he drink tea?"

Knocking back another cup of sake, Cross sighed appreciatively and leaned back on his pillow seat. "Yeah, he can eat and drink like any living being. Don't ask questions." He added when he saw she was about to open her mouth. "He's a friendly lil guy, and I can tell he likes you already which'll make this shit a little easier."

"Make what easier..?" Ren slowly asked, looking between him and her grandfather with narrowed eyes. "You didn't explain what this favor was, and when did you contact him, Ojii-sama? I didn't know mail could even leave the country. How do you even know this man? Did you meet when you used to travel outside the country? How did you make it in and out with all the demons around?" She couldn't help but blurt out all her questions. It was so frustrating that she didn't know anything right now, and neither one of them were going to tell her unless she asked.

Her grandfather resisted the urge to sigh and only took another long sip of his tea, purposely delaying his response. He could tell she was getting angrier, however, and finally put his cup down. "Marian and I have a...mutual friend. We met through him and he was able to sneak me out and back through the borders. The demons- the _Akuma_ \- are not natural beings, this you know. I'm sure you've noticed that they look like machines, right?"

Ren slowly nodded, her whole body tense and full of trepidation. She was finally glimpsing at the truth.

"That's because they're artificially created from human suffering." He explained, a grim expression overtaking his aged features. "I won't go into the details right now, but it's why I asked-"

"Begged, more like." Cross butt in with a snort, starting his second bottle of sake. 

Her grandfather rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes. I begged him to come back to help you."

Her head shot up and she gave him a confused look. "Help _me_? How?"

The man in question reached into his coat and brought out a green glowing cube, encircled by two silver cogs. "With this." Cross spoke up, holding it out to her. It's soft glow brightened the closer it was to her person, and Ren hesitantly reached out to take it. It was...warm? But heavy. Not in a physical sense, but it was like the very air around her pushed down on her. "That...is _Innocence_."

" _Innocence_..?" Ren whispered the foreign English word, hypnotized by the emerald hue of the cube. "What is that?"

Placing his sake cup down, Cross took out another one of his paper tobacco sticks and lit it with a nearby candle, not giving a shit that he was smoking inside a sacred building. "The only weapon that can destroy Akuma." He explained bluntly without a care. " _Innocence_ , or God's crystal, is a powerful substance that can be turned into a weapon. Not everyone can use it, and there are pros and cons to being Chosen. That one has been pretty insistent in meeting you."

Her grandfather sighed in relief. "So she is compatible. Thank Amaterasu-sama..."

"Mine..?" Ren whispered disbelievingly, the Innocence glowing slightly brighter at the sound of her voice. "There's...There's no way." She looked up and glared at the mysterious man who regarded her with a nonchalant gaze, taking another drag of his tobacco. "You can't...You can't just come out of nowhere, and then tell me I have the power to destroy the demons- Akuma."

"And why not?" Cross interrogated, narrowing his eye at her.

"Because..!" Ren shouted before she stopped herself. Because then it meant she could fight back against the very beings who hunted her people. That all this time, she had been compatible with something that could destroy those invincible beings. That she could've had this earlier, and saved her parents, every child and adult that had been killed..!

This had to be a joke.

"This isn't real..." She whispered, standing up from her seat. She gripped the Innocence in her hand tightly before placing it in her sleeve for safekeeping. "No one can win against the Akuma." She hissed. "This won't change anything." Glaring at him once more, she stomped out of the room, but not before her grandfather shouted to remind her that her ceremony was in four hours.

Watching her leave, Cross took a long drag of his cigarette and exhaled a breath of smoke. "She's not cute at all when she's angry..." He murmured gruffly. "There's no way she'll be a good exorcist with that kind of mindset."

Letting out a heavy sigh, the old Houshi slumped in his seat. "You can't blame her. She was born and raised in this hell hole. Anyone who could've been considered her friend are dead, killed by Akuma, and she lost her parents as well. She sees this place as a cage, waiting to be the next animal to be culled."

"She's not wrong." Cross muttered, flicking his finished cigarette into his friend's half finished tea, much to his disgust. "You know the Earl continues to populate the rest of the country with Akuma. As of now, Japan is 80% Akuma. This is the last town outside of Edo to house humans."

The Houshi nodded grimly. "I know. It's getting more dangerous. My sutras won't be able to keep out the Level 2s for much longer. We're lucky that the Level 3s are more interested in devouring each other than going after humans. Ren still isn't strong enough to protect herself against a Level 2."

"Oh?" Cross made a noise of interest. "So you've been teaching her magic as well? That Shinto stuff, right?"

He nodded again. "As of now, she can make a small barrier against Level 1s and heal small wounds. She would be stronger if she held more faith in the gods, but so far, she isn't doing poorly..." He sighed. "I've taught her as much as I could, but without real experience, she's still vulnerable to all threats."

Cross hummed, picking up his sake once more. Taking a long sip, his eye slid to the door where the young Miko had left through. She hadn't returned the Innocence.

Maybe there was some hope in her skills after all, and that this trip wouldn't be a waste of his precious time.

 

* * *

 

 

Painting her lips with a light red, Ren stared at her reflection in the mirror. 

She didn't recognize herself at all.

Dressed in a brand new white kimono top and blood red hakama pants, she looked like a real Miko. The clothes had been finished by the local seamstress, and her grandfather had blessed it with purifying water and prayers. It covered her from the bottom of her neck to right below her ankles, her long sleeves masking the subtle green glow of her- the Innocence. 

Her black hair was combed perfectly, the silken strands glowing from the candlelight. Her bangs were parted to the side, with just enough hair to frame her cheeks as well. The ends were tied with a white ribbon, and she was allowed to put some makeup on to commemorate a special occasion. Her dull gray eyes resembled a cloudy sky about to rain, surrounded by a faint dusting of charcoal and red coloring. 

She didn't feel any more special, that was for certain.

Glancing out the window and noting how low the sun was, Ren sighed and reluctantly stood up from the floor, grabbing her long bow and quiver on the way out of her room. It was time. 

Her tabi covered feet padded silently on the floor, the polish having long since faded from the wood. Walking closer to the front of the shrine, she could hear quiet murmurs. It seemed as if the entire town had come to witness this.

Ren bit her lip nervously, before stopping when she remember she had just painted them and didn't want the color to rub off. What if she messed up? What if she wasn't ready to be a true Miko? Her barriers were weak, her arrows being only slightly better. She couldn't protect herself, let alone anyone else. Her grandfather was still much stronger than her, yet he mentioned that he didn't have much time left.

Pausing in the hallway, she looked down at the innocuous green glow in her sleeve and sighed. "Are you really able to defeat the Akuma..?" She whispered. "Can something too good to be true, really be real? Me of all people?"

The Innocence didn't answer her, and she didn't know if she should be grateful or annoyed at it. She didn't really feel much else anymore besides frustration and defeat. Her grandfather was all she had left now that that mysterious man had eaten all her friends. She was basically waiting for death now.

Not that she wanted to die. The opposite really, she wanted to live. To experience more than her small town full of despairing people, to get out of her prison. Meet new people. Experience new cultures and languages. New food. See the world, free of fear. But she knew that was too good to be true.

With a heavy heart, she dragged her feet to the entrance of the shrine, strapped on her straw sandals, and bowed at the waist to her people. They bowed back, several meters away but surrounding the vicinity. There were barely a hundred people left. She dimly remembered the streets being full of people when she was younger, thousands in her town, and it was now reduced to this.

A few musicians- the ones still alive and able- began playing. The drummer beat the taiko, and the deep sounds vibrated in her bones. The flute player blew into his shakuhachi, the sharp notes as light as the wind. The koto musician plucked at the delicate strings, balancing both the beat and the rhythm.

Her grandfather, dressed in the traditional black and blue houshi robes, stood in front of her near the purification font. With a glance around, Ren couldn't make out the signature red of Cross' hair, but put it out of her mind and took a step forward in time with the music. One beat, one step. One beat, one step.

Soon enough, she was stood in front of the font and she picked up the ladle. First, she cleansed her left hand, then her right. Scooping up another ladle-full, she poured it into her mouth, and finally the handle itself, purifying her body, mind, and soul. 

Her grandfather took her hand and led her to the unlit pyre situated in the middle of the courtyard. This one was different from the burning pit, as this will be used to communicate with the Kami. If a Kami responded, then it proved she was a fully blooded Miko. 

Taking a few strands of her hair and wrapping it around a piece of evergreen bark, Ren threw it into the middle of the pyre as well as a candle, handed to her by her grandfather. It took a few seconds, but once the candle melted down and the fire reached her hair wrapped evergreen bark, the pyre truly began to light. The fires reached up into the air, twisting and fluttering. 

Ren stared deeply into the fires, breath hitching when she noticed flashes of green. Was that...another hint toward her Innocence? Did the Kami really choose her? Her of all people?

She was startled out of her thoughts when her grandfather subtly elbowed her, and she took a deep breath, clapped her hands twice, and prayed. 

'Amaterasu-sama...I pray to thee. I am but a humble human, seeking the brilliance of life and light. Though my faith is low due to my circumstances, I do not wish for more misfortune. I only wish...that I have the power to break free. If you would answer me, then I will become your servant. I will serve you faithfully, ridding your world of evil.'

Please...

A scream broke her concentration and she snapped her eyes open to see her nightmare come true.

"N-No..!" Her grandfather gasped, taking a step back in fear.

It chuckled in amusement as the people began to panic at the sight of it, running for the exit, shelter, anywhere away from it. "My, my...Such a large gathering of humans. You didn't think that barrier would stop me, right?"

Strange armor covered its entire body, lean and dangerous. A helmet covered its face, showing a skinless mouth and its multitude of pearly white teeth. Its hair waved in the breeze as it stood high up in the sky.

A level 3.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The miko induction ceremony isn't very accurate aside from the kami choosing. I took a lot of liberties since the old traditional ways were a little too strange to be accepted in this particular universe.


	4. Chapter 4

It was chaos.

People were screaming, running as far as they could from the appearance of a strong Akuma. Some had crouched down on the ground in their spots with their hands clasped tightly together in a prayer, already having accepted that they couldn't run. "Please, Kami-sama..." They whimpered and huddled together. 

The Level 3 only laughed at them from its spot in the sky, watching as they ran like ants under its heels. "Humans are so pitiful..." It remarked in amusement before curling into itself. With a push of its heels, it launched down toward the ground in a burst of speed. Faster than the human eye could see, it speared its arm through a man, relishing in his gargled whimper. "Hehehe..."

The people nearest screamed, trying to get away as far as possible. Not caring as they trampled over each other, they tried to make for the exit, but it was all for naught. With a hyena-like laugh, the Akuma raced forward and opened its maw wide, tearing a woman's throat out with a jerk of its head. Red blood sprayed into the air, falling to the ground like depraved rain and staining the stone ground.

Some splattered on her new kimono and Ren could only watch with wide eyes, stood frozen near the still burning pyre. The fire licked her immobile hands, ignorant of the massacre that was happening around it. Her back was warm from the heat and yet all she could feel was cold. She couldn't hear anything over the sound of blood pounding in her ears. Not the sound of their screams, the sound of metal ripping through flesh, or the loud cackling emanating from that monster. Why..? Why now of all times?

Was she next..?

Something pulled at her hakama and with a startle, she looked down. "M-Miko-sama..." A man pleaded from the ground, blood pooling from a large gash on his temple. He must've fallen when he was trying to run away. "Help...Help us..! Please!" He screamed desperately at her frozen face, tugging at her clothes. "Aren't you blessed by the gods?! Why aren't you helping us?! HELP ME-"

He was suddenly caught off with a shriek when a hand clamped down on his ankle and dragged him up into the air, upside down. Licking its nonexistent lips, the Level 3 raised its bladed arm and sliced through his neck clean through before throwing his body elsewhere. "Now, now. You know better to believe some dumb gods are going to save you." It taunted at the now dead man before turning its head toward the still frozen Miko. "You're the new Miko, huh? So young, too. You humans must be desperate if they're going to lay all the burdens on a twelve year old. Hah!" It cackled maniacally. 

Trembling in fear, Ren tried to take a step back but her heel hit the wooden fence that contained the pyre. "Hh..." She tried to scream but nothing would come out, barely even a sound. She was trapped, she was going to die..! 

"Ren!"

She jerked her head toward the direction of where her name came from. Her grandfather was stood bravely, shoulders straight and feet spaced apart. In one hand, he held a few sutras meant to banish evil, and the other was a holy staff. "Ojii-sama..." She breathed out in shock. He had only ever used that staff in the most extreme circumstances. Then again, wasn't this situation calling for it?

People were dying...And she was standing here like some useless idiot!

Anger welled up inside her like an overflowing volcano, mixing with fear and desperation. Slinging her bow off her shoulder, Ren drew an arrow from her quiver and pulled it back on the string, aiming straight at the Akuma. "Damn you, Akuma!" She cried out, letting go of the shaft. True to its aim, it sailed straight toward the Akuma but for all her rage, it only managed to scratch its outer armor before falling to the ground. 

Ren gritted her teeth, her left hand gripping her bow with bone white knuckles jutting out. The Akuma only laughed at her pathetic attempt and swooped in to slash at her, but she was able to jump to the side and roll onto the ground. Her hakama wasn't so lucky, the ends having been caught by its blade at the last second, but at least she was still alive. 

"Om!" Her grandfather growled, taking his role as Houshi once more. The sutras in his hand lit up, the tops burning a bright orange, and he flung them in the direction of the Akuma. They flew through the air with frightening accuracy and attached themselves to the machine. When they made contact with it, the Level 3 screamed as the sutras shocked it. "What is this..?!" It gritted out as it tried to struggle out of its bindings.

"You Akuma are created from Dark Matter and magic," The Houshi explained grimly, a bead of sweat traveling down his weathered face. He was too old to be doing this. "Meaning that the answer to your demise is in your birth. I may be out of practice, but don't underestimate me! I am still a Houshi of the great Amaterasu-sama's!" He slammed his staff down and glared at the Akuma. "And I will not allow you to harm my granddaughter!"

Legs pumping, the old priest ran toward the Level 3 with his staff raised, bringing down the sharp edge that glowed with a golden hue. Sparks flew into the air from the impact and it blew back both individuals; the Houshi toward the shrine and the Akuma toward...

Ren's eyes widened. Her! 

Before she could scramble away, the Akuma's back collided with her front, pushing her up and over the fence of the pyre. The flames engulfed her whole being, and she was lost.

Climbing to his feet, the Houshi gasped in horror. "No..! REN!" He tried to run to the pyre but a hand on his shoulder pulled him back and he turned to glare at his old friend. "Marian, let me go! Ren is-"

"Give her a minute." Cross cut him off, cigarette lit in his mouth. His eyes were trained on the large bonfire, noting the occasional flicker of green. "C'mon, Renren...Prove to me that you want to be free."

 

* * *

 

 

She gasped, flailing her large sleeves around to fan the fires away from her, but it was no use. All she could see, smell, hear, and feel was the fire. It was all around her with no escape.

Within seconds, she was consumed again within the heat. An overbearing inferno that licked at her skin, singed her hair, and bundled her like the grasp of the underworld. "No...No no no no!" Ren screamed, tears streaking down her face only to evaporate from the heat. "I...I won't die like this!" 

Not like this. Not in the very fire that was supposed to bless her. Not in the cage that she had grown up in. Not by the demon that hunted her people for fun.

Not when she was chosen..!

She saw a light bloom behind her closed eyes and she opened them, staring down at the green glow that emanated from her sleeve. It hummed for her attention, and it finally registered in her brain that...she wasn't hurt.

The flames weren't burning her at all, rather, it was like a warm cocoon, swaddling her like a newborn babe. 

Ren looked around her in wonder. "...Amaterasu-sama..?" She whispered in awe. Could it be..?

A flame caressed her cheek, reminding her that even though she wasn't burning, she wasn't out of danger just yet. Looking down at the glow in her sleeve, she took out the Innocence. _Her_ Innocence. It glowed brightly now in her hands, and she could feel anticipation just emanating from it. "Are you really mine..?" She desperately hoped it would be. "Please...Please help me. Help me break free." 

She clenched her eyes and with all her heart, her hopes, her dreams, her soul. She shouted toward the heavens. "Amaterasu-sama!!"

And for the first time, she received an answer.

 

* * *

 

 

The pyre burst into a tornado, building toward the night sky. It swirled and circled into itself, the flames shimmering from red to gold to green, over and over. Those left alive could only stare up in awe at the unnatural phenomenon. "Could it be...?" Someone murmured.

"Are we saved?"

"Is it another demon?"

"Hoo?" Cross smirked at the sight, ignoring how his old friend was left gaping at the sight. "Well well...Seems like there might still be some fight left in her." 

The old priest could only watch as his only granddaughter- his only family- stepped out of the fire, like a phoenix reborn. "Amaterasu-sama..." He breathed in wonder.

Stepping back into the mortal world, the rocky sand underneath her sandals crunched under her weight, and Ren straightened up with a determined frown. Her kimono and hakama were only slightly singed, yet strangely left mostly whole and intact. Her hair had burned in the fire, leaving short strands to brush against the nape of her neck. Her eyes, once a dull silver, now shined as brightly as the full moon above them, full of life and a yearning to live and fight. 

In her hand, she held her bow, yet it wasn't just her bow any longer. The ends jutted out in sharp arches, mimicking wings, and the string glowed green. Her quiver had disappeared in the fire, yet she still knocked back her string as if she had drawn an arrow.

From her fingertips, emerald glowed out like fire, finally forming the framework of an arrow. "Repent, you evil demon." Ren spoke strongly, letting the arrow loose. Something had changed within her, and for the first time in her life, she felt strong. She was more than some pathetic child. No longer was she just a caged animal waiting to be culled. 

She was Saitou Ren, Miko of Amaterasu-sama. 


	5. Chapter 5

Her back was straight, shoulders held at an angle, right arm bent back with her thumb, pointer, and middle finger on the string. She fired arrow after arrow, as quickly as she could.

Breaking free from its restraints, the demon dodged every single one, bouncing from one end of the shrine to the other. By now, everyone still alive had evacuated, and all that was left were the ones with the power to defeat such a foe. Ren could see out of the corner of her vision that her grandfather and Cross were watching her, the former with his staff in his hands and the latter fingering his weapon that was holstered underneath his black and gold coat.

Ren bit her lip. She couldn't disappoint the very people who gave her this power to fight back.

"So you were an exorcist all along!" The Akuma shouted at her, finally perching itself on the shingles of the shrine roof. "Well, don't think your little Innocence can defeat me! Now that I know you have it..." It began to drool, saliva escaping its fanged mouth. "I'll be sure to enjoy destroying it!" With a push of its heels, it launched itself at her, one hand out stretched.

Gasping, Ren quickly dodged to the side, just barely missing its attack. Knocking another arrow back with as much strength as she could muster, her brow creaking from the strain, she let go. "Purify!" It whizzed straight at the Level 3 and buried itself in its shoulder, sending jolts of holy power through its body.

"D-Damn...you...!" It screeched, limbs jerking from pain. Once the arrow's energy finally fizzed out, it turned to her with a murderous rage, all five of its eyeballs opening to hone in on her. "I'll kill you, you little bitch!" 

Eyes widening, Ren could only brace herself with her bow as the Akuma teleported right in front of her, and she used her weapon as a makeshift shield. It crackled under its immense strength, and she clenched her jaw when she realized her arms were shaking. She won't be able to win...

But that didn't mean she wouldn't put up a fight.

"Haaa...!" She screamed as she channeled her will into her bow. "Amaterasu-sama, please bless this humble Miko with your strength!" Closing her eyes, she began to recite her prayers under her breath. 

All life is precious.

Bless the wounded and the weak.

Humans must be protected against any and all threats.

Evil must be purified.

Though they were just a mantra that her grandfather had taught her, they helped with her concentration. She had to focus. What did she want? To fight back. To protect her grandfather and Marian-san. To be a worthy Miko, to show Amaterasu-sama that her choice wasn't a mistake. That she was worthy of a life free of fear.

A green glow enveloped her bow before expanding into a sphere, creating a barrier that defended her from the onslaught of the demon. It roared, the scent of its mechanical oil breath blowing right in her face. "I'll break this, and then I'll break you..!" It swore viciously, swinging its arms down right at her protection spell.

Ren winced with every impact, feeling as if he was slapping her arms, but forced herself to hold her position. The feeling of being slapped was minuscule to being torn into pieces. Even with her new barrier power, she knew she couldn't hold out forever. There was no way that her, a new "exorcist" as it had called her, would be able to win. 

A loud bang rang out in the courtyard and she flinched, resisting the urge to cover her ears. What was that?! 

When she finally regained her hearing, she realized that the barrage against her barrier had stopped, and she looked up in surprise. A clear hole had appeared in the middle of the Akuma's helmet, the edges still smoking. Had something entered through its head fast enough to do that? 

With a rasp, the demon looked behind her. "E-Exorcist..." It whispered before exploding in a loud boom, leaving no traces of it ever being there except for the trail of dead bodies it had left. Luckily, Ren's barrier was able to protect her from the blast, though her hair and her clothes whipped around her from the force of the wind.

She slowly lowered her bow, her chest heaving as she panted from adrenaline and exhaustion. It was over...

With another inhale of his cigarette, Cross lowered his gun and holstered it again. "Jeez. I guess I couldn't expect a newbie to be able to protect herself against a 3...Still, not a bad job, Renren." 

Letting out a slow exhale to calm her erratic heart, Ren slowly turned to the two men and scrunched up her face. "Renren..? Never mind that." She quickly walked up to her grandfather who was looking only a little worse for wear, his robes having been stained with dirt and rips from his brief encounter with the monster. "Ojii-sama, are you all right? Do you need healing?" 

Her grandfather stared down at her with wide eyes, not saying a word. Slowly, he dropped his staff and raised his arms to envelop her in an embrace, pulling her small self close to him. "Ren..." He breathed out in relief, hiding his face in her messy hair. "I'm so glad you're alive..."

Eyes widening before moisture gathered in front of them, Ren bit her lip and knocked jerkily, bringing her small arms to hug him back. "I'm glad too...I'm so glad you weren't killed." She choked out, finally letting her tears fall. While in the fight, she had done her best to keep her emotions locked tightly, lest she lose concentration and end up skewered, but now, with the threat finally eviscerated, she was able to commemorate herself. "I...Amaterasu-sama chose me, Ojii-sama." She shared the news gladly. "I'm a real Miko now."

Her grandfather nodded elatedly. "I saw! The fire hadn't hurt you at all. Amaterasu-sama has blessed you, Ren." He patted the top of her head. "Though your hair..."

"Oi." Cross cut in, flicking his finished cigarette to the side. "We don't have time to chat. The commotion has undoubtedly drawn more Akuma here."

Staring at him in horror, Ren took a step back. "What can we do? I...I'm not strong enough." She admitted, ashamed and embarrassed at her own inexperience. "I wasn't even strong enough to kill that Akuma, there's no way we'll survive if more show up..!" 

Cross scoffed and turned to the Houshi, a serious frown on his face. Her grandfather sighed and nodded before turning back to her. "Ren, gather your things." 

Ren blinked. "Huh..?"

"We're leaving." Cross announced, Timcampy coming out of his coat to hover around her. "I'm getting out of Japan and you're comin' with." 

What? Her? Ren stared at him in a stupor, wondering if her ears were working correctly. Had the Akuma's screeches affected her hearing? "I'm sorry, I think I just heard you say we're leaving Japan..."

Scowling now, Cross lightly rapped the top of her head. "I'm not repeatin' myself! If you want to stay here and die when the Akuma's buddies arrive, don't blame me, but if you wanna live, you're gonna go get your stuff and haul ass!" 

"Listen to him, Ren." Her grandfather spoke up, his age catching up to him as seen by the sheer exhaustion in his shoulders. "You've always wanted to escape, haven't you? Marian is here to help you do just that." 

Ren looked between them, disbelief coloring her face, before she slowly nodded and ran toward her room. She...was leaving her home. She was leaving Japan. Everything had happened so fast, she felt almost dizzy. The price of freedom was steep.

Barely registering what she was stuffing into her bag, just that she was, she tied the ends and ran back to the entrance of the shrine, but not before changing into less singed clothes.

A large explosion shook the very foundations of the building and she quickly held onto the wall lest she fall to the floor. What was that? Had more Akuma arrived already?!

Quickening her pace, her Innocence bow in hand, she made it just as Cross shot another Level 3 in the head. Her grandfather had just fended off a Level 2, and was quickly losing wind as seen by him collapsing on one knee. 

"Ojii-sama!" Ren called out worriedly, hurrying to his side. She placed a hand on his back, eyes darting around to check for more danger. "Are you all right?"

He coughed into his hand. "I...I'll be fine..." He choked out, wiping his wet palm on his black hakama before pulling out more sutras. "Go, Ren! Marian!"

Her eyes widened and her heart stopped. What..? What was he saying?

A hand grabbed her upper arm and dragged her toward the entrance stairs before she even registered it in her head. "Got it!" Cross yelled back at his old friend, already pulling her down the stone stairs that connected the shrine to the rest of the town. "You better take care of yourself, Saitou! I don't wanna hear you died on us!" 

Her brain finally caught up to what was happening and all she could do was panic. "No!" She screamed, struggling in the foreign man's grip. "Ojii-sama! Get up!" She begged, hands outstretched to her grandfather who was smiling regretfully in their direction. It was the last thing she'd see of him as she descended down the stairs against her will. "Stop, Marian-san! Ojii-sama will die if we leave him!"

"And _we'll_ die if we stay!" Cross snapped back at her, shooting at another Akuma that flew too close. "Be a good girl and listen to your elders! Now stay quiet or else you'll attract more Akuma on us and it'll all be for nothing!"

Teeth bared to the world, Ren clenched her eyes and could only follow the older man through town. They passed the blacksmith's, the herbalist's, the town market. It was all deserted now, the surviving people hiding away in the shadows in fear.

They crossed the river all the way to the forest that would lead toward the coast. Her small legs almost couldn't keep up with his long and quick strides, and several times she had stumbled over her own two feet. She was beyond exhausted, her energy spent from today, and all that fueled her was desperation and an ache for answers. Why? Why why why?! Wasn't she supposed to be able to fight now that she had Innocence? Why did they have to leave him behind? 

Large spheres with black cables flew up in the sky above them, all gray plated metal with horrific black and white faces in the center. Ren knew these were the weakest of Akuma and slung her bow off her shoulder. Taking aim, she took down all but one, which Cross ended up destroying with one shot. "Not bad, Renren." He complimented her with an easygoing smirk, gesturing her with his other hand to follow him. "C'mon, we're almost there."

Ren nodded silently, sweat beading down her forehead and making her hair stick to her face. He was definitely powerful. 

Within a few more minutes in the forest, only guided by Timcampy and the bright moonlight shining through the leaves, they finally made it to the shore. Before they arrived at the docks however, they had to find a way to scale down the cliff where the forest ended and the beach began. Ren tried to look around but ended up squeaking when Cross picked her up, hugged her to him, and jumped. 

She clenched her eyes shut and buried her face into his coat, not wanting to see their impending fates. What was he thinking?! There was no way they could survive this jump! 

She was proven wrong just a second later when she felt them finally on land once more, him bending his legs to absorb the force of their impact. She opened her eyes just in time for him to gently put her down on a decently sized sail boat and he hoisted the sails, letting the wind carry them away from the dock. Timcampy landed on her head and "hugged" her with his wings, his tail curling around her neck.

Ren watched silently as the coast slowly disappeared from her view the farther they sailed. With the occasional Akuma chasing after them that Cross handled with no problem, Japan faded away into the ocean waves, the sea being all she could see now.

"Phew..." Cross blew out the smoke coming from his gun and holstered it in its case on his thigh. "Finally. I thought they'd never back off..." He grumbled before sitting down near the still muted girl. He eyed her for a moment while he dug out another cigarette. "...Oi. Talk or somethin'."

Her lips tightened. "...Why did we leave him behind?" Ren whispered, keeping her head down. "Why couldn't he have come with?"

Taking a long drag, Cross slowly exhaled, watching as the smoke drifted up into the midnight sky. "...Did he tell you he was dying?" He watched from the corner of his eye as she stiffened and sharply turned her head in his direction. "...That's a no then. He knew he couldn't protect you any longer, so he was bankin' on you being compatible with Innocence and asked me to bring all my pieces. Now that you're an Innocence wielder, it means you'll be under my command."

"But he..!" Ren started but stopped herself. Her grandfather did mention that his time was coming, but she thought he meant it was because they were living in constant fear of Akuma, not because his body was giving up on him. Why hadn't he said anything more? She could've tried to heal him. She had little experience beyond large gashes but...she could've done _something_ , couldn't she? Why was it that whenever it came to an obstacle, she was either too weak or too inexperienced to overcome it? 

Why did she have to lose the last of her family..?

A tear slid down her face, followed by another, and soon she was biting back the urge to sob. Her entire body was wracked with tremors and she hugged herself, trying to stop it. Everything hurt, but what hurt the most was the shame of her shortcomings. 

An emerald eye watched her huddle into herself even with his golden golem trying to comfort her, and Cross sighed, getting up from his seat with a push of his hand. He took off his coat, leaving himself in a white dress shirt and black trousers, and dropped it on her. "I did say you'll be under my command, didn't I?" He murmured, taking another drag of his cigarette and listening to the sounds of her sobs slowly die down. 

Ren didn't say anything but gripped the coat tighter around her, inhaling the scent of alcohol, tobacco smoke, and oil. It was warm from his body heat, and she couldn't help but nuzzle into it, seeking comfort. She barely knew this man, but she did know he had protected her, given her a fighting chance against the monsters in her life, and he was trying to be nice to her. She was always grieving, but she couldn't forget her manners. "Thank you, Marian-san..." 

He turned his head to look down at her, and after rubbing her face of any tears and dirt, Ren forced her mouth to conform into a small smile. His eye widened before a slight red hue emerged in his cheek and he turned away with a che. "Guess you can be pretty cute huh, Renren."

Her smile immediately fell at the nickname, but their current circumstances tore her attention away and she looked around. Their boat was small, but it held what seemed to be a small room underneath the sail, and the construction seemed sturdy. There wasn't any spec of land anywhere nearby, just an endless dark blue that threatened to swallow her whole, and she bit her lip. "How long is our journey?"

"About five days."

"Do we have any food?"

"...Fuck."


	6. Chapter 6

"And how do you say thank you?"

" _Thank you._ " Ren answered dutifully in English, resisting the urge to grimace at how much she butchered the new foreign language. The sounds were completely different from Japanese. "And before you ask, _you're welcome_."

It was day 5 on the sea, and it was getting more and more intolerable. Luckily, when Ren opened up her bag, she found that she had packed a few apples and leaf-wrapped onigiri, so they hadn't exactly starved but it was tough. Cross had sneaked a few bottles of Inari sake in his coat and ended up drinking most of them as a substitute for water, even though alcohol would just dehydrate him further. They didn't have enough water to wash up, and with the addition of the salty sea water around them, they stunk. Bad. 

The constant shifting of the waves underneath their boat didn't exactly help her either, and she felt like she could never stay balanced. Always shifting and rocking back and forth.

The little room underneath the sail housed a bed as well as some emergency water supplies, so they were able to take turns sleeping with one person on the lookout for any Akuma that could've chased after them. Ren ended up sleeping more since she was so young and therefore needed more rest, but she forced herself to at least stay on watch for five hours every day to let Cross get some shut eye. When they were both awake, Cross had taken to using the time to teach her English. No one outside of Japan knew Japanese except for him and perhaps a few stragglers who escaped prosecution, and it would only benefit her to learn.

It was tough since it was an entirely new language with different sounds and pronunciations. The alphabet was simple and she was able to memorize it within a few hours of practice, but speaking it was another beast entirely. So far, she had learned to say "Hello," "Goodbye," "Please," "Thank you," "You're welcome," and other small sentences such as "May I have food?" and "I am looking for my master." Just in case she would get lost, Cross said. He had a tendency to go to places where a little girl like her couldn't follow.

Ren wondered what exactly he meant. Could be he what her grandfather called a "pervert"?

She would work on her English by repeating Japanese words and then matching it to their English equivalent, and when she grew too irritated with it, stopped and meditated with her new Innocence Bow.

It was so different from her regular bow. 

When she was in that fire five days ago, her Innocence had merged with it, creating this new blessed weapon. The wood was still a dark brown, with an almost cherry hue to it, but the ends didn't taper off. Instead they separated into four different curved spikes, like trying to imitate wings. Small red flames encased the bow above and below the handle, like the sacred fires of Amaterasu-sama. The string was strung tightly and glowed a faint green, but when activated, it would glow brightly like a firefly in the night. 

Ren had never expected herself to hold onto her teachings of a Miko so tightly, but now drifting in the sea with only a foreigner and his golem as her companions...It was all she had left of her home. Even though she had grown up in fear every single day, it wasn't all that bad. Her town had been kind, and the shrine had been prosperous, or as prosperous as it could be given that they lived in a zoo. Her parents had loved her, taught her all about their culture, and when they had been murdered by Akuma, her grandfather stepped in and taught her about their gods. 

She could be taken out of her country, but her country couldn't be taken out of her. 

"What're you gonna call it?"

Snapping out of her thoughts, Ren straightened her back in her seiza and turned toward her master. He had said she was being taken under his command as an apprentice of sorts, so she had started calling him that. "What?"

Cross gestured to her bow which laid innocently in front of her lap. "Its name. You'll need to call it something when you activate it."

"What do you call yours then?" She asked curiously. "You have a...gun, right?" She had never seen a weapon like that before until now, and when he mentioned it was a common weapon, it really emphasized just how ignorant she was of the world. She only knew of handheld blades and bows.

Nodding, he reached out to his holster and pulled it out. It was large and rectangular, with another piece acting as the handle. It had black and gold accents on it, and looked heavy and dangerous, especially when she knew it could destroy Level 3s without any effort. "Judgement." He grinned and gestured to the large black box that was stood next to the wall that was the small room of the boat. "And that's Grave of Maria. You might see her soon, depending on where we shore up."

Ren furrowed her brow and looked between his gun and the coffin. "You can have more than one?"

"Nope." He answered smugly. "Regular exorcists have one, but I'm not a regular _exorcist_."

"What is an _exorcisto_ exactly?" She asked, Timcampy perching on top of her head. He had started doing that more often now, not that she minded. "The Akuma that attacked our shrine called me that, and you too."

"An _exorcist_ is a soldier of God, chosen by _Innocence_ to fight Akuma." Cross began to explain, his earlier humor disappearing under a firm frown. "I'm not sure what Saitou has explained to you, but Akuma are created by this fatass named The Millennium Earl. When a person loses someone they love, their grief calls out to him and he appears, asking if they want to revive their loved one. Overcome with emotions, most people accept."

Ren listened attentively, dread filling her stomach.The Millennium Earl...

"What they don't realize is that they're trapping the souls of their dead loved one in a machine. Akuma. The Earl then commands it to kill the living person and wear its skin as a disguise, and it'll go around to kill some more. The more humans they kill, the more they grow until they level up." He reached into his trouser pocket for his pack of smokes but cursed when he realized he had ran out. "Level 1s are those ugly balloons that even a newbie like you can kill. Level 2 tend to be different shapes and sizes, and Level 3s..."

"Are those dark knights." Ren finished quietly, mind swimming with new information. "But...why? Why is the Earl doing all this? What even is he?"

Cross snorted and leaned back against the hull, tilting his head up to look at the clear blue afternoon sky. "Now those are the real questions, with no real answers. Supposedly the fatass wants to bring about another Three Days of Darkness- Oh." He paused when he noticed the absolute look of confusion on her face. "Right, you don't know a single thing about Christianity, do you?" He heaved a sigh. "...I'll explain it once we're on land when I can chuck a bible at you, but the answer to your question is that his goal is the complete eradication of humanity." 

"I see..." Ren whispered, looking down at her bow pensively. So she had been chosen to fight against the evil that threatens humanity's existence. She could agree with that, but she had one major problem left. "...Does being an _exorcist_ mean I have to worship your God?"

"Nope." Cross answered nonchalantly, digging around their fast dwindling supplies for an apple. "You don't see me worshiping or praying, do you? The only thing that matters is that you're fighting. That's all the Church cares about."

"Church?"

He groaned loudly and laid down on the deck, foregoing his snack. "I hate having to explain all this shit..." He grumbled, tilting his hat to sit on top of his face to shield himself from the sun.

Ren rolled her eyes. He was already turning out to be a lazy master.

She turned back to her bow and lightly traced its smooth surface. A name, huh. If she wasn't required to worship their God, then she would continue to fight in the name of her own. She was doing the same thing they wanted, which was destroying the evil that plagued humanity. The Millennium Earl was that evil, he and his Akuma. She wanted to show that it wasn't just these "Christians" who fought for this world, that even though she was gifted the power from their God, she was still blessed by her own. "...Terasu."

"Hm?" Cross opened one eye to look at her.

"Terasu." Ren spoke louder. "It's one part of Amaterasu-sama's name. It means 'Illumination.'" A light in a dark world.

He snorted and closed his eye again. "Unoriginal name, but whatever works for you. Wake me up when you see land."

She nodded, a small smile on her face. She felt like her goddess would approve. It could be that she was her only Miko now, with her grandfather being her only Houshi (she refused to think he was dead) and that meant she had to work extra hard. "Terasu. Do you like that name?"

Her bow didn't speak to her- She didn't expect it to since it was an object- but it did grow warmer under her hand, and that was answer enough. 

Timcampy fluttered down and landed on top of her hand, tapping her with a stubby paw. Ren grinned at how cute he was and cupped him inside her hands. "I bet you're bored too, hm?" He bobbed his head. "Why don't you teach me stuff? I'm sure you'll be a better teacher than Cross-shishou."

"Hey." Cross's muffled voice called out like a warning, and Ren couldn't help but laugh a little. The first time in a long while.

The sun shone brightly above her, making the surrounding waters glisten like blue gems. A bird-a seagull- cawed above her in the cloudless sky, a white dot in a expanse of blue. Below the water, she could just faintly make out a few swimming shapes, fishes of all sizes just out of reach.

The world was so big...and she wanted to see it all.


	7. Chapter 7

Ren saw hints of what seemed to be a port city a few hours later when the sun began to set, and shook Cross awake. "Shishou, I see a city! Wake up!"

He grumbled and rolled over on his side so his back faced her. She frowned and looked around for a way to wake him up when Timcampy fluttered down to his face. A large line appeared on his face, spreading apart to show his impressive rows of teeth, and with a snicker, he chomped down on his master's nose. With a shout, Cross sat up in a flash and swatted him off. "Tim!" He growled, his nose now a pulsing red.

Covering her mouth at the sight, Ren tried her best not to laugh, but failed when her master turned his annoyed gaze at her instead. "Haha...Shishou..." She giggled as he scowled, dodging when he playfully tried to whack her on the head. "We're approaching land, so we wanted to wake you up."

His ire forgotten, Cross stood up and jumped up to the sail, holding a hand above his eyes to shield his gaze from the sun. Just as she said, their sail boat was finally approaching another land mass. "Finally..." He could make out a busy port with much larger ships designed for cargo, and a sprawling city attached to it that was surrounded by large green mountains on all sides. The buildings were made in the typical oriental style, and he grinned when he recognized it. "All right! We've reached Guangzhou!"

"Gu-wangu...Jiyao?" Ren tried to pronounce the name but found the syllables too hard. "Is that good?"

Jumping back down to the deck, her master grinned and picked up his coat. "Better than good. I have a...friend," He worded carefully though his grin became salacious. "That can help us. We can hide with her for a bit while we get you settled in the big wide world."

Ren furrowed her brow at his weirdly excited mood but nodded. "OK. Am I..." She hesitated and looked down at the floor. "Am I still...going to stay with you? You're not going to just leave me here, right?" 

His silence after was almost answer enough and she clenched her eyes shut, feeling alone and afraid. He was bringing her to a new land with new people who didn't speak her language. She didn't know anything except a few phrases of English, and had no way of finding a living at her age. He was her only anchor right now. He was all she had. Her koi had been eaten and her grandfather ~~dead~~ \- left behind in Japan. All she had were a few spare kimonos and her bow.

A hand landed on top of her head and she opened her eyes to look up at him. Cross patted her gently with a small smile. "How can I leave you when you're being so cute, Renren?" He teased, grinning when she pouted at the nickname. "I can't promise that you'll be with me forever, but while you're under my command, we're a team. Got it?"

Holding back her tears, Ren nodded in relief. "Got it, Shishou."

She won't be alone in this world at least.

* * *

 

When their boat finally reached the port city of Guangzhou, Cross jumped off the deck and onto the docks, gesturing for her to follow. Ren did so, stumbling a bit on the landing. It seemed like she'd have to get used to doing acrobatics when with him, considering that he didn't even hesitate jumping off a steep cliff back in Japan.

Holding onto his hand, Ren looked around with wide curious eyes as they made their way into the city. It was loud. There were so many people around, flooding the streets and corners of the city, all speaking a language she didn't know. Cantonese, Cross explained. A dialect that was common in the south of China. 

There were more languages than English? And different versions too?

The buildings looked familiar to her, but used a lot of different colors than Japan's signature white wall and dark blue shingle. There were green buildings, red shingles, a myriad of colors with red paper lanterns hung everywhere. The Kanji on them were familiar but didn't make sense to her. Food stalls lined the streets with their vendors shouting for customers. Buns, gyouza, and interesting sweets were sold, and her stomach growled at the multitude of delicious scents wafting in the air.

She was getting dizzy from the influx of information.

The salty brine of the ocean was still a prevalent smell in the city, or it could be coming from them since she noticed with an embarrassed blush that people were actually moving out of their way while covering their noses. It wasn't their fault that they hadn't bathed in five days, but she couldn't blame them for moving away. She would, too.

"Shishou," She tugged on her master's hand. For a moment, she admired how he stood out like a beacon with his flaming red hair and black and gold military coat. Even though she wasn't Chinese, her features were quite similar to the ones she could see on the people here. Same olive skin tone with dark almond eyes and dark hair. Her master's peachy skin tone and sharp features made him special and eye catching. "Can we wash up? Please?"

"We're gettin' there." Cross reassured her as they turned into an alley marked with large red lanterns. Immediately, the mood changed. The city was still vibrant and lively, but now with all the pink lights and red lanterns that decorated the shop entrances, it gave off this adult atmosphere that made her feel uncomfortable. Should she be here?

It wasn't as crowded here as it was on the main streets, but there were still people, and odd people at that. It was all men with playful grins, holding bottles of what she assumed were a sake of sorts, talking to beautiful women or even occasionally a beautiful man. They were all dressed in embroidered robes like kimono, but were sewn in a different style and tied more loosely together. 

Occasionally, a man would glance over at her and give her a grin. Ren really didn't like it and stuck closer to her master, almost hiding in his coattail. 

Cross looked down at her and followed her gaze, narrowing his eyes at any man who tried to step closer. "Tch...Listen up, Ren." He murmured under his breath so only she could hear. "Men are trash, you hear me? Don't ever go anywhere alone with anyone unless I gave you permission."

"Yes, Shishou." Ren answered dutifully. That was definitely one rule she wasn't going to break.

After a few minutes of walking down this red light alley that was more like its own city within a city, they stopped at a fancy building. It had multiple floors, making it one of the tallest buildings around, and was decorated with a multitude of yellow lanterns with sweeping rooftops. The entrance was a large paper and wooden door and the windows a warm yellow, giving off a welcoming if mysterious feeling. The sign situated in the front was spelled simple enough that Ren knew this place was named "House of Heaven." 

They didn't go through the entrance however, instead Cross led her into the alley that circled around to a smaller back entrance. Marked next to the door was a cross design that Ren recognized as the same symbol on her master's coat. So they really were here to meet a friend, or maybe a co-worker from his affiliation?

A large, muscular and beautiful woman opened the door before they could even knock. She had no hair, and was dressed in a sleeveless dress that showed off her impressive biceps, and she stood at least the same height as Cross. Her features were young but sharp, showing that even though she was a woman, she could handle herself in a fight and win.

Cross gave her a lazy two fingered salute. "Mahoja. Is Anita in?"

The woman- Mahoja- smiled and bowed. "Cross- _xinxiang_. Welcome back. My lady is currently in her room." Her eyes caught sight of the young girl beside him and she blinked. "Is she...?"

"She's with me." Cross reassured her, one hand on his ward to guide them into the building. 

The interior was just as impressive as the outside, if not more so. Sheer curtains hung everywhere, masquerading the tea rooms from any onlookers. Men's raucous laughter occasionally echoed out, followed by the feminine giggles of women. The tables and chairs were all made from exquisitely dark wood, with intricate golden carvings depicting stories that Ren didn't know. To their left was a kitchen where staff could be seen cooking and making refreshments, and a large storage for alcohol barrels.

Ren wondered what kind of place her master had led her to.

Mahoja guided them up the stairs that were behind the main entertainment room, all the way up to the top floor where it was immediately quieter. There were a few people around- staff most likely- but the atmosphere changed from a playful kind to a more secret-oriented mood. The people here seemed to know her master since they bowed when they walked by.

Soon, they arrived at a large room with purple curtains hanging around the pillars. Mahoja closed the door behind them and bowed to the woman sat in the middle of the room. "My lady Anita, Cross- _xinxiang_ is back with a guest."

"I can see that." Anita smiled. She was a breathtakingly beautiful woman, though she barely looked older than 20 years old. Her makeup was expertly painted; her eyeshadow a fine lavender and her lips a luscious red. Her black hair was cut in straight fringes, with most of it braided up into an intricate headdress. Her robes were a rose pink, worn to show off a daring amount (to Ren) of collarbone with a hint of cleavage. "Welcome back, Mr. Cross. You're..." She hesitated, her nose wrinkling at their stench. "In need of a bath."

Cross laughed out loud at her bluntness. "You got that right! It's what happens when you're stuck at sea for five days on a dingy little boat." His eye swept over her figure and he grinned. "And you're looking as beautiful as ever, Anita." He purred.

Anita blushed and smiled. "Oh you." She caught sight of the little girl beside him and she perked up. "Oh, is this..?"

Ren hesitated but Cross's hand lightly pushed her forward, so she stepped up and bowed low at her waist. "H-Hello, nice to meet you. My name is Saitou Ren." She stuttered in accented English. " _Please take care of me, Anita-san._ "

Anita cooed at how polite she is. "Aw, she's adorable! Come here, Ren." She gestured to the young Miko to sit in front of her. Ren obliged even though she couldn't really make out all her words. The young brothel owner placed her hands on the girl's cheeks, tilting her head side to side. "Oh my, Cross. How could you let such a lovely young girl end up like this?" She frowned disapprovingly at the burned ends of hair and smudges of dirt on her skin and clothes. "What language is she speaking?"

"Japanese." Cross answered, eagerly accepting a cigarette from Mahoja's tray of refreshments. "You likely won't hear it from anyone else but us. She's an exorcist now."

Perking up, Anita smiled gently down at the young Miko. "Is that so? Then as a staunch supporter of the Order, I must make sure she is well taken care of. Mahoja," She turned to her bodyguard. "Please call up one of the girls to take care of our Ren here."

Mahoja bowed and left the room to abide her order. Ren looked around curiously. " _What is happening..?_ " She asked.

"Ah," Anita nodded in understanding. "She doesn't know much English, does she?"

Taking a long drag of his cigarette, Cross sighed in pleasure. "Only what I could teach her while we sailed here. I'm hoping to teach her more before we depart." He turned to his student. "Ren, _you'll be taken care of by one of the girls here. Go rest up while Anita and I have a little catching up to do_. "

Ren nodded, though she was still confused. She looked between her master and the hostess who both had red hues in their cheeks and she wondered. Are they romantic? 

Mahoja soon came back with another woman with her, not as beautiful as Anita but still beautiful. "Ren, come." The bodyguard gestured her over kindly, and the young Miko could only oblige. The new lady cooed over her in Cantonese before leading her down one floor to a private section. When they entered the door, Ren found herself in a large bathing area and she gasped in delight. She turned to the lady. "Bath?" She asked in English.

The lady nodded and gestured for her to strip. Ren quickly peeled off her kimono, scrunching up her face from the smell of sweat, dirt, and other bodily fluids, and folded them into a bundle with her bow before walking to the rinsing area. The lady took off her fancy dress, leaving herself in her undergarments, and sat behind her with a smile. "Jie jie." She gestured to herself. "Sister?" 

Ren blinked. She wanted her to call her sister? "Jie jie..?" 

She squealed and grinned before gesturing to the soaps laid out in front of her on a ledge. "Wash!" 

Before long, Jiejie had poured a generous amount of hair oils and messaged it into Ren's hair. A few other ladies of the night had wandered in at some point, probably to wash up after a long shift, and they all ended up cooing over how cute Ren was. Ren couldn't really understand anything they said, and stayed like a red tomato the entire time from their attention. It was definitely overwhelming to be surrounded by so many women, with their mature bodies and beautiful faces. They were all so much taller than her too, and she felt like some kind of exotic pet for them to take care of.

But what was more important was that she was getting clean for the first time in five days, and she thanked Amaterasu-sama. 

Dressed in a spare set of sleepwear which consisted of a long sleeved silk robe- cheongsam the Jiejie said- Ren was led out of the bathing area. She was happy to be squeaky clean and smelling like flowers. Hygiene was too important to neglect.

They arrived at a small dining room where she ate until she was full. She hadn't eaten more than an onigiri a day on the boat and now that she was in front of so much food, her mouth salivated and she found herself starving. The food was kind of familiar. She could see noodles, rice, and a variety of vegetables and meats, but the flavors were all different.

Pausing after swallowing a mouthful, Ren looked down at her bowl of rice with a frown. Everything was so different...

She felt homesick.

It wasn't a feeling she ever thought she'd feel. She never thought she would leave her home, her country. She certainly didn't miss the ever constant presence of Akuma, but she did miss the food, the language, the culture. Her grandfather and her koi. Guangzhou felt off, and she knew it was because everything was so familiar but not. 

Noticing her quietness, the Jiejie patted her head and took her food out of her hands to place it on the table. "Sleep?" She asked, and Ren nodded, following obediently after her. She was led to a room that was akin to a dorm. Several futons were laid out on the floor, some occupied by other girls though most were vacant. The Jiejie gestured to a futon, and guessing it was supposed to be hers for the night, Ren snuggled underneath the blanket with a hand gripping her bow and she closed her eyes, trying to imagine that she was still in Japan inside her shrine. 

It was almost the same...

 

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

I ended up drawing Ren with Cross! (I don't actually know how to draw kids so bear with me)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Xinxiang- Cantonese way of saying "Mister/Sir" (It's a bad romanization but it's hard to romanize Chinese words)  
> Jiejie- big sister in chinese  
> cheongsam - chinese dress (word originally means long clothing)
> 
> Japanese will be italicized and underlined now that English is introduced as the more commonly used language. English will be left as normal text.


	8. Chapter 8

They stayed in Guangzhou for a whole month before Cross' itch for wandering kicked in.

During that time, Ren slowly acclimatized to the outside world. She didn't really understand Cantonese except for a few words, but she began to explore the city, first with Cross and then by herself. The day after arriving at Anita's place, a brothel Cross had explained, they were given fresh clothes and a much needed trim. Cross had his beard trimmed to a small goatee on his chin, while Ren had her singed ends cut off. It left her with a bob with her ends slightly curling inwards. It made her look like a ningyou, a fact that Cross couldn't but tease her about. "My little doll." He would say.

Ren was less than amused, but was far more amenable to it when Anita-san or any of the Jiejies said it. It was embarrassing but...nice, to be cared for by so many sister figures.

When they would leave the brothel, Cross brought her around the city, introducing her to the local culture as well as the cuisine. She was able to try on different cheongsams, a first in her life since she was so used to Miko robes.

Cross needled her again, calling her his doll, and bought her a few that were meant to be worn while traveling. With what money? Ren didn't know. He said she would need it, and they unfortunately wouldn't be able to get her any kimonos since that style didn't exist here.

Ren couldn't help but wilt. Not even a scrap of her homeland existed in the outside world. The Akuma had truly ruined her country and culture.

After shopping, Cross took her to one of the main streets where it was always loud and crowded. Vendors shouted for customers, trying to entice them into trying out their snacks or buying their jewelry. People chattered at one another at almost screaming levels, and Ren had to clasp her ears for fear her eardrums would burst. It was especially tough since it meant there was more of a risk of getting separated from her master, so she usually forced herself to get used to the loudness. 

Cross introduced her to char siu bao, lo mein, siu long bao, and a bunch of Chinese foods. They were all so flavorful and delicious, but so different from Japanese food. Nevertheless, Ren did end up growing a fondness for them, and ate it regularly at the brothel. 

Speaking of the brothel, Ren ended up learning that Cross and Anita were romantic, but also...not? They were fond of each other, she could see that, but Cross was also very free with his affections to all beautiful women. All the Jiejies in the brothel loved him, though they didn't spend time with him like Anita did. It was confusing since Ren was used to a man and a woman being only with one another, and no one else. It wasn't something she would judge, though. What right did she have in dictating other people's love? As a Miko, she could only bless it.

She ended up asking Anita if she would like blessings for her relationship, and after the older woman squealed and cuddled her for her very serious face, she actually ended up declining. Her reasoning? "A man like Cross could never belong to just me." 

Ren still didn't understand, but just nodded and asked if she could at least purify and bless the brothel. Even though it wasn't quite the ideal place to live, it had welcomed her, fed her, and clothed her, like a real home. She may be young, but she had duties that she couldn't ignore, like the heavy aura around the lower floors.

Her grandfather explained that negative emotions attracted negative spirits, and in turn would dampen a home until it became a den of misery. She guessed that all the customers who came in were bringing in these emotions, and it should be cleansed out occasionally.

Anita nodded and gave her permission, but Ren suspected that she only did so to entertain her. She had pouted.

It wasn't her proudest moment.

But it was worth it to see Anita's face when she witnessed the purification firsthand. She kept her brothel clean and well maintained, but had never noticed that slight layer of grime over everything until Ren purified it with a sprinkle of blessed salt, water, and a haraigushi that she was able to make from leftover materials. The young woman knew that there were mysterious magics in the world- how could she not when she was sleeping with a magics expert and supported a secret organization that swore to destroy soul-chaining machines?- but to see it work for domestic things was amazing. 

Ren ended up purifying every inch of the building as well as blessing all the Jiejies to be free of dark energy and illnesses. It exhausted her to the point where she ended up passing out for two days straight, just to wake up to Cross yelling at her for pushing herself. "You're 10 for fuck's sake!" He emphasized, all in English. "You're supposed to know your limits, or else you'll end up dead!"

Even though she hunched over in shame from being yelled at, Ren prided herself in being able to understand everything he said. A month's worth of only being spoken to in English and the occasional Cantonese word had greatly helped her mastery over the new language. Her pronunciation still wasn't the best, but at least she could communicate now. 

Though it didn't help during The Incident.

The Incident happened during her first week in Guangzhou. Ren wasn't allowed to be near the first floor during night time which was when the brothel was at its busiest, but she had a craving for soba that she couldn't contain. She had really missed Japanese food. So she sneaked to the kitchens and kindly asked the cooks in very broken English and Cantonese if she could use some of their supplies. They were kind about it, but watched her with careful eyes since they didn't trust a 10 year old in their domain.

After finding some buckwheat flour in an old forgotten cabinet, she dragged a stool over to a table and proceeded to make the hardy noodles. It was tough since buckwheat was naturally very firm and difficult to knead, but years of archery had prepared her arms for this grueling press. Once she was finally done cutting the noodles, she taste tested all the soy sauce that was stored in the kitchen before deciding to make a blend. They were good, but they weren't the correct taste. She couldn't make dashi, but she wouldn't skimp out on the soy sauce.

The chefs actually asked to try some, and after finding it enjoyable, asked for the recipe. Ren couldn't in good conscience give it over, however. They had only eaten her bastardized version of the dish. So she promised instead that one day she'd make real soba and see if they would still like it then.

Trying to sneak back to her room, she instead was dragged to the side by a man; one of the customers. He grinned down at her with that leer Cross would make toward Anita, but only more vile due to this man's yellow teeth. He spoke to her in Cantonese, and she could only understand a few words such as "girl" and "me." Panicking, she chopped at his wrist with her hand and was able to get away from him, but him screaming at her attracted the entire brothel's attention.

Ren was just going to climb back up the stairs to her room but before she could do that, her master had descended with a scowl. Giving her a look that consisted of "we'll talk about this later," he proceeded to walk up to the man and backhanded him to the floor where Mahoja took care of the rest. Then he took her by her hand, guided her upstairs, and instead of yelling at her, let Anita profess how she was so worried about her and that she should never go down there during night time again. "Please listen." The older woman had begged. "Don't make us worry like that again."

Ren pouted again, but nodded obediently. It was her own fault for not heeding their warnings, and she learned her lesson.

Another incident occurred during the middle of their third week. While out shopping for Anita, an Akuma had attacked. It was a Level 2, so it wasn't as dangerous as a Level 3, but still. It had shown itself in the town square, sending people into a panic as they ran away from the strange monster.

Ren had been drilled by Cross to always have her Innocence on her, not only to protect herself but other people. Her innocence was like a light to a moth; bait for Akuma.

Slinging her bow off her shoulder, Ren had shot at it with her purity arrows. It was fast; its monkey-like form allowed it to jump out of the way like an acrobat, and it screeched at her with taunts. Much to her shame, she had let her anger get the better of her and almost ended up skewered when it dashed up in front of her if not for her master.

He had stood back to watch how she would be able to go against a Level 2, and intervened at the last minute with Judgement. "That you're able to go against a Level 2 isn't bad, but you still couldn't defeat it." He remarked disapprovingly. "Get better at it, and don't let your temper screw you over like it did a minute ago."

Panting from exhaustion and at the dressing down he gave her, Ren could only bow her head. "Hai, Shishou..." She whispered with a dejected frown. She made several mental notes. About her own behavior, how it was unbecoming of a Miko to let emotion overrule her mind. She needed to find a balance in discipline, meditation, and passion for goodness. Her power was gifted to her so she could protect people and destroy evil, not to get herself killed.

Just because she didn't have a shrine to be a part of didn't mean she could let herself get lazy.

The rest of her stay in Guangzhou was a dizzying blur of new cultures, foods, languages, and people, and soon enough, they were leaving. Cross magicked away his luggage, but forced Ren to carry her pack on her back. When they headed down the stairs, him dressed in his General's coat and her in a light green cheongsam, they were greeted with House of Heaven's entire staff, including the Jiejies, the chefs, Mahoja, and Anita herself. All of their eyes were misty with unshed tears, and in some of the Jiejies' cases, openly crying. 

Cross shared several tender whispers with Anita while Ren was passed from Jiejie to Jiejie where she was pressed uncomfortably against their large bosoms. "Ren..." One of them sobbed. "I miss you, OK? _Ngo Siek Nei._ " 

Biting her lip, Ren couldn't help but shed a few tears too and hugged them all with her much smaller frame. They had all become a nee-san to her, and she hoped that her blessings would grant them a long and happy life here. " _Ngo Siek Nei Dei._ " She stuttered out in a very bad accent, but her message was received when she was mobbed by all of them, tears streaming down their faces and ruining their expertly applied makeup.

" _Enough with the waterworks, ladies!_ " Cross finally called out, though he had on an amused smirk at seeing his apprentice come out of it with swirly eyes. "Let's go, Ren. We're going before the Asia Branch catches wind of us. With that Akuma showing up a few days ago, Finders are probably already on their way."

"Shishou..." Ren whimpered, her face full of lipstick marks.

He barked a laugh before picking her up by her backpack and walking out of the back door of the brothel, letting Ren wave goodbye to her second family. It was hard to leave, but she knew that her journey wouldn't end here, that there was more for her to see and to experience.

The master and his apprentice made it out of Guangzhou an hour later onto a deserted path into the misty green mountains that surrounded the city. There were warning signs everywhere, all of them in Chinese so Ren didn't quite understand the kanji, but the bright red marks on them were enough. Where were they headed exactly? "Shishou, where are we going?"

"Europe." Cross answered, taking out a cigarette. "It's a continent next to Asia."

"Why are we going to Yuropu?"

"So that I can fulfill a promise..." He paused and gave her a slight smirk. "And so you can go off on your own."

Ren gasped and stared at him with wide eyes. "What? On my own?"

He huffed. "You didn't think you'd be tagging along with me forever, did you? You're going to have to join up with the Black Order as an exorcist sooner or later."

She looked down at the ground with furrowed brows. So one day, he would leave her too...She was used to loss, but that didn't mean she liked it.

Noticing her falling silent, the general placed a hand on top of her head. "Until then though, you're stuck with me, so you better pick up the slack. Got it, Renren?"

Even though she grimaced at the nickname, she smiled inside. Her master was a crass pervert who smoked like a fire pit and drank like a fish, but he was still her master. "Yes, yes." 

 

* * *

 

It was a few days into their journey through Central China when they heard shouting- well, more like screaming. They had already veered off the main road, sticking to the outskirts of the tree line, so they only had to walk further into the bamboo forest toward the scream. The forest was dense with long thin sticks of bamboo, their sharp leaves falling from the bushels up top that covered the light from the sky. It left the forest floor almost as dark as night time with only a few rays of sunlight penetrating through.

Ren slung her bow off and gripped it tighter the closer they got to the sound of the disturbance. The screaming hadn't stopped, in fact it had increased, but it wasn't a scream of fear. It was a scream filled with rage and sorrow. Of loss and bone-deep pain. Could it be someone who was about to trap a loved one in an Akuma?

"Tch..." Cross scowled, holding a hand to his ear. "This screeching's hurting my eardrums. Ren," He jerked his head toward the screaming. "Get ready. You're going up first."

"Hai." She nodded and held her bow up. She activated her Innocence with a twirl of the weapon. "Terasu, _okosu_." Her bow glowed a faint green, and she readied an arrow just in case. Taking a deep breath, she dashed forward through the remainder of the forest, bamboo leaves crunching underneath her boots, and finally made it out into a secluded clearing, bow held out and arrow knocked back. 

She was ready to shoot but paused when she realized the scene she emerged into wasn't what she thought it was. There was no Akuma, or even a summoned skeleton that her master described. Instead, she saw an older gentleman with foreign features like Cross, watching as a large man with a deep skin tone fight against a much smaller Asian boy. An Asian boy around her age with features that she recognized a few moments later with elation. 

He was Japanese.

"I'm not giving up I'm not giving up I'm not giving up..!" The boy screamed in English without even a hint of an accent as he slashed his sword at the larger man. The man dodged every single sword stroke coming his way, even though his eyes were covered. Ren wondered if it was some kind of sensory exercise and decided to step forward to ask when some leaves crunched underneath her boot.

The boy suddenly turned to her with a murderous gaze. "I'm not fucking giving up!" He howled like a wounded animal, and in a flash of speed that was too quick to be human, he was upon her with his blade raised up.

Gasping, Ren held up her bow and gritted her teeth when their weapons met. Green lightning expelled out from where they were connected, both from her bow and his sword. Was he an exorcist? Why was he attacking her?! " _Please wait a moment!_ " She called out in Japanese, wincing when he pushed against her. He was strong..! " _I'm not here to hurt you!_ "

His long hair, dark like the midnight sky with a hint of blue, fanned around him with the ends neatly cut. His blue eyes were narrowed into slits, anger and desperation having overcome his senses. He opened his mouth but only yelped when he was kicked to the side by a large black boot lined with gold trimmings.

Cross lowered his leg and scowled down at the boy who scrambled back on his feet with a snarl. "Tch...What the hell is the Order thinking?" He murmured with a shake of his head.

"Yu!"

The older gentleman who had stood to the side earlier rushed up to the young boy's side, ignoring the intruders even though one of them had their eyebrows raised in surprise. "Yu, are you all right?" He called out gently. The boy only turned to snarl at him before dashing off to the other side of the clearing to get away as far as possible.

The older gentleman sighed deeply and got to his feet. "What am I going to do with you..? Ah, my apologies about Yu," He began as he turned around. "He-" He stopped when he caught sight of the eye catching gold and bright red hair that could only mean one person in the world. "Marian?"

"Yo, Froi." Cross greeted him casually, inhaling another whiff of his cigarette. "Fancy meeting you here. You and your..." He turned to look at the other two males in the clearing. "Brats."

The man- Froi?- grimaced. "My apprentices." He corrected. "You shouldn't be calling them brats when you seem to have one as well." 

"Clearly mine is better." Cross boasted, placing an arm around Ren's shoulders. "She's not the one who flew into a rage and almost killed someone, hm?" 

Ren frowned and elbowed her master in his side. "Shishou!" She ignored his groan of pain and turned back to bow low at her waist. "Hello, it's nice to meet you. My name is Sai- Ren Saitou." Right, western people introduced themselves with their first names in the front. "We're sorry for disturbing you, Master exorcist." 

Chuckling quietly, the older gentleman placed his hands on her shoulders and straightened her up. "My, so polite for your age!" His eyes, a nonchalant brown, narrowed minutely behind his blocky glasses as he analyzed her. "Hm...My name is Froi Tiedoll. You can say I'm one of Cross' co-workers." He smiled. "Sorry if I come across as rude, but are you..."

"She's Japanese." Cross answered before Ren could. "And so is that animal you call an apprentice, huh."

Tiedoll turned his gaze to him and glared. "Don't call him that! You don't know what he has been through." He glanced over to the other side of the clearing where the boy had calmed down by now to curl up in a ball.  

Ren glanced over as well and frowned. What he had been through? He clearly didn't have a good grasp on his emotions. From his screams, it sounded like he had gone through something traumatic. 

Catching the look on her face, Cross groaned and mussed up his hair. "Renren, no. We're supposed to be heading toward Europe right now. We can't afford detours."

She turned to him with a pout. Her only weapon against him, she had learned in the one month they had known one another. "Shishou..." She pleaded. "You know I can't ignore my duties."

Narrowing his one uncovered eye, he grumbled but jerked his head toward the other side of the clearing, giving her permission.

Brightening, she bowed to Tiedoll once more and slowly walked, one measured step at a time. The grass barely crunched underneath her boots when she finally stopped behind her countryman. His shoulders stiffened though he didn't turn around, implying that he was aware she was there. Slowly, she knelt down into a seiza. " _Konnichiwa._ " She greeted politely.

Turning his head, he glared at her. "What the fuck did you say..?"

Ah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ningyou - doll (sometimes mistakenly said as Ningyo which is mermaid)  
> Haraigushi- a wand made of multiple ropes of white paper used in shinto religion to purify people and places  
> Soba- buckwheat noodles, eaten commonly in Japan  
> Dashi- a soup base made from seaweed, used in a lot of Japanese dishes  
> Ngo Siek Nei - I love you in Cantonese (used platonically)  
> Ngo Siek Nei Dei - I love you all  
> Okosu- Awaken in Japanese


	9. Chapter 9

Ren didn't know how to express just how disappointed she was. Did he really not know their mother tongue? " _My name is Saitou Ren._ " She tried again with a calm smile to mask her dejection. " _Your name is Yu-san?_ " 

He scowled at her, his fair skin and features scrunching up in disgust. "Don't call me that." He snapped. "No one has the right to call me by my name."

She felt her spirit wither the more he didn't respond to her in Japanese. "I'm sorry." She apologized; for offending him or for being sorry for him, she couldn't tell. "What may I call you then? Do you have a family name?"

If possible, he glared even harder at her. "No. Just...Just stop talking to me." And without waiting for a response, turned his back to her so all she could see was his long indigo hair. "Leave me alone."

Hurt from his complete and utter rejection of her presence, she decided to respect his wishes and stood up, walking back to her master's side. It would be a bad idea to push it since he had already proven that he would attack her. She could sense such a heavy aura of sadness and anger around him, to the point where it was clearly affecting him. She didn't want to butt in, but...

Cross had sat by the campfire's side with Tiedoll, taking out one of his last bottles of Inari sake that he had kept from her grandfather. Tiedoll had a large canvas pulled out and was currently sketching the fire, the flames reflecting off of his glasses. The last man in the clearing, the one whose name she didn't know, sat nearby with his eyes closed and his legs crossed. 

He turned to her with his eyes still closed and patted the grass next to him. "Please, join me for a bit?" He asked in a deep and friendly voice.

Ren bowed and tucked her legs beneath her. "Hello, my name is Ren Saitou. It's nice to meet you, Mr...?" 

"Noise Marie." He introduced himself with a smile. "Sorry, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with Yu." He tapped his covered ears with a sheepish smile. "It happens since my hearing is all I'm good for."

She frowned. "I don't believe that, Marie-san. Your kindness in beginning a conversation with me already proves you are more than just your hearing."

Taken aback by her candor, Marie chuckled, a fine red hue in his cheeks. "No one has ever said that to me before. Thank you, Miss Ren. Ah," He paused for a moment. "Is there a proper way I should address you..?" 

"Just Ren is fine." She reassured. "My culture's customs are not seen outside of Japan, so I'm used to it."

Marie nodded in understanding. "If you say so." His head tilted toward his fellow apprentice. "I'm sorry for his behavior." He murmured quietly, the crackling fire in front of them hiding his voice from any eavesdroppers. "His life hasn't been easy and he recently lost someone close to him. A lot of people actually."

Understanding, Ren bowed her head. "I see. I hold no ill will against him, I could already tell from his screams that he is not the most fortunate. Um..." She hesitated before taking a deep breath. "Marie-san, did you lose your sight recently? Is it from the same incident?"

He smiled though it was bittersweet. "I lost it a few months ago during a mission gone wrong. A Level 2 had sneaked up on us while we were surrounded by Level 1s. It had a special gas that destroys nerve endings and had sprayed me in the face. I was able to wipe most of it off but some of it entered my eyes and..." He shrugged. "It was a small price to pay, given that I am alive. If only my comrades had survived with me..."

Ren bowed her head in respect. "I'm sorry for your loss, and I'll pray for their peaceful afterlives." 

"Thank you." Marie bowed his head as well. "Regarding Yu, I met him when I was healing in the Asia Branch. He wasn't an exorcist then, but he had ended up saving me."

Ren smiled. Then that had to mean he had a kind heart underneath his harsh words. "That's nice of him." She remarked. "I tried to speak to him in Japanese, but he didn't seem to understand." 

Marie grimaced and turned away. "I suppose he wouldn't, given his circumstances...I won't say much more, I respect his privacy, but suffice to say he is Japanese in looks only. He does not know much outside of the Order." He clenched his hands, which Ren noted were encircled with ten rings, one for each finger. "Please, have patience with him."

"Of course." She replied. "He said he didn't want to be called "Yu" though, so is there another name he prefers..? I don't want to offend him."

Because there was no way this would be the last time she spoke with him, that she swore. She couldn't let her fellow countryman go ignorant of their culture and language, especially when it sounded like it had been kept from him by their superiors. How strange it was that this Order would quarantine children. What sort of organization was the Black Order? Where did they find a Japanese youth? From what she knew, Cross was the only foreigner to have ever stepped foot in Japan in the last 300 years.

Marie shrugged. "That, he hasn't come to a conclusion to yet. You can call him his name until he decides. He may seem brash about it but he wouldn't hurt you."

Ren gave him an odd look. Did his hearing not pick up the sound of their sword and bow clashing just minutes ago?

Noting her silence, he chuckled. "I know he attacked you, but if he had truly wanted to hurt you, you would be sporting some sort of injury right now. He may have lost control of his emotions, but he wouldn't lose control of his body that easily." He reached into his pack and withdrew a wrapped package. Unwrapping the cloth, he opened the box, showing a few bao. "Now, I'm sure you and General Cross have been traveling for a while now and are famished. Please help yourselves."

Ren smiled gratefully and accepted one. "Thank you." Taking a bite, she found it cold and slightly dry, but it was food and she was hungry. Looking over the fire, she could see her master had already laid down on a luxurious futon he had nabbed from the brothel, and was holding a quiet but scathing conversation with his fellow General who looked at him in disgust. 

Taking one more bao, she stood up and walked over to her master's side to offer him one. He gave her a grin and accepted. "Thank you, Renren. See that, Tiedoll?" He called out smugly, taking a bite. "Look at how nice and well mannered my apprentice is." He bragged. "Yours hadn't even offered you the same, and the other one is off sulking to the side like a baby."

Rolling her eyes, Ren shifted her shoulder and let the end of her bow knock against the back of his head. "Hush, Shishou. I'm not well mannered because of you, but in spite of you."

Tiedoll let out a jolly laugh while Cross grumbled and rubbed his head. "Now isn't that the truth!" The artist chuckled. "You hear that, Marian? Perhaps you should clean up your act a little. You're only proof that everyone around you is more capable with manners."

"Ugh, shut up, the both of you!" Cross barked. "Ren, go to sleep!" 

"Hai, hai..." Ren answered indulgently, but not before doing her nightly ritual. Sitting in front of the fire with her legs tucked underneath, she closed her eyes and held her bow on her lap, not minding when Timcampy used her head as a perch to sleep on. Inhale...Exhale. The fire crackled like the sound of breaking tree branches. The grass whispered from the slight breeze like a light rain shower. The bamboo leaves rustled as small woodland creatures retired for the night. 

When she meditated like this, it was as if she was one with the earth. With her bow on her lap, it almost acted like a conduit between her and nature, connecting her to the local kami. She could feel how the ground here was fertile, and in turn, the bamboo trees grew plentiful. How the deer considered it home and have lived here for centuries, generations upon generations.

It was humbling to know she was such a small being in this world. 

Letting out a breath, she clapped her hands twice and muttered her prayers to Amaterasu-sama, not noticing a pair of blue eyes watching her from the edge of the clearing.

 

* * *

 

 

Slowly opening her eyes as the morning sun shined down on her, Ren quickly sat up from her bedroll when she found she was the last to awaken. Timcampy rolled off with a startled jitter and fluttered in the air. "Huh..?" She rubbed her eye of any crust. "Why didn't anyone wake me?" Shouldn't they all have had a turn to keep watch in case of Akuma or other dangers?

Looking up from his sketchpad, Tiedoll smiled at her. "Good morning, Ren. We were going to wake you up but there was some...morning excitement." His gaze drifted toward the fire and she followed it, jumping when she saw a freshly killed deer on the ground. 

"When..?" Ren blinked, and blinked again. Was she still dreaming? 

"When you were sleeping, obviously." Cross answered as he came out of the bushes, his clothes pristine and flawless as always. "Damn thing ran into the clearing, but that's good for us. Wash up and start helping out with the cooking, wouldja?" He commanded, ignoring Tiedoll's look of disapproval. "There's a lake nearby."

Ren nodded and after bundling her bedroll back into her pack, stood up and headed toward the lake her master had described with fresh clothes and soap. It was a few minutes away, but the water was clean and clear, glistening in the early morning sun. Quickly washing herself, she wore her old set of Miko robes. They weren't in the best conditions, but they were clean and well taken care of.

Tying her hair back with a red ribbon, she bundled up her dirty clothes and walked back to the campsite. She wondered if any of them knew how to cook. Cross didn't, that was for sure.

Arriving back at the clearing, she paused and blinked when she saw Yu trying to chop at the deer with his sword. "C'mon, cook already..!"

Marie stood behind him with a deeply stressed look and had his hands out as if he wanted to stop him, but also didn't want to get his fingers chopped off in the process. "Yu, please. That's not how-"

"Fuck how you think it's supposed to be done!" Yu yelled as he swung his sword down again, chopping a whole leg off. Blood spurted from now missing appendage and sprayed all over the young boy, covering him in a warm red. He blinked before shuddering in disgust, noticing how it even dripped down his bangs. "U-Ugh..." 

Covering her mouth, Ren tried to hide her laugh. What did he think he was doing?

Hearing her snickers, he turned to glare at her and she gave up trying to hide her amusement. "Hahaha..! Sorry, sorry!" She hid her face in her sleeve to muffle herself. "U-Um, I'll take over if it's all right with you."

Grumbling, he shoved past her toward the lake, leaving the four of them in the clearing. Putting her dirty clothes down in her pack, she found some rope and tied back her sleeves. No one else seemed to have stepped up to do this, but they were clearly hungry, given how Marie and Tiedoll both held their stomachs as they growled. "Who killed the deer?" She asked, grabbing a knife and a bowl. 

"Yu did." Tiedoll answered, poking the dead deer with a finger and pointed toward a large slash on its neck. "He was in the middle of morning exercises when it jumped out of the bushes. His sword swung down before it could run and well..." He heaved a sigh. "We have breakfast. Do you know how to prepare a deer?"

"Not really." Ren admitted shyly. "But it can't be that different from a chicken, right?" Clapping her hands twice, she thanked the deer for its meat. It was the least she could do. 

Asking Marie to hold up its hind legs, she tilted the deer down and drained its blood out into a bowl. The blood was special and could be used for ink and dye. Then once most of the blood had exited the body, she laid the body down and sliced its abdomen, grimacing when she had to drag out all the organs. It was certainly squishier than a chicken's.

It took a few minutes, long enough that Yu had come back dripping wet with his long hair sticking to his face. Grimacing, he walked up behind her and watched her finally slice the meat into pieces to be cooked. "...It's a deer, right?"

Ren nodded slowly. He didn't know what a deer looked like? "Shika."

He blinked. "...Shika?"

Looking up at him, she beamed. "Deer in Japanese." 

Furrowing his brow, he pouted and looked away, refusing to speak anymore. He actually didn't say anything for a long while. It was only in the middle of breakfast after the deer was perfectly roasted and served up to everyone that he said something. "...Sorry."

Pausing her bite, Ren looked up at him. "Hm? Sorry, I didn't catch that."

Making a che sound, he turned away, letting his hair hide his face from her. "...I said sorry." He didn't elaborate what he was sorry for, and tore into his meal with a ferocity of a starving child.

Softening, Ren beamed at him. "Thank you, Yu-san."

"Don't call me that!"


	10. Chapter 10

When Cross and Ren had packed up their stuff after finishing breakfast, Tiedoll came up to them and said they would be traveling together. He worded it as if they had no say in it, all with a genial smile. Cross scowled and asked him why, and the artist only said he didn't trust a man like him with a young girl. Plus, they were also heading toward Europe and it only made sense to stick together on the long journey.

Looking between them, Ren wondered just how long it would take to get to Europe. Weeks, months even? It had already been a week since they left Guangzhou and they had only made it to the beginnings of Central China. 

Marie and Yu didn't seem to care, and the former was happy to converse with her as they traveled. They talked about a lot of things; what they liked to do in their spare time as well as what they didn't like. Marie liked listening to music as well as to the people around him, especially his comrades. Given that he had lost his sight only about a year ago, he still had some difficulties in navigating the road and used his headphones to help amplify sound for him. Like echolocation, he explained, though it wasn't as effective since this was just a prototype.

Fascinated, Ren asked if she could perhaps try them out herself, and found herself wincing from how loud everything became. She could hear everything; from the sound of hair whistling in the wind to the very heartbeats of the people around her, and had to take them off after a few seconds. 

Yu scoffed at them and stayed silent at the very back of the group. Ren turned to him and asked him what he liked, and he only answered with a scowl.

Crestfallen from his cold shoulder, she still continued to try to draw him into their conversation. Telling both Marie and Yu that she really liked koi, and in her free time would practice traditional dances so that she wouldn't forget them. Even though no one outside of Japan knew of their significance, she was still more than happy to keep the tradition alive within her. 

Yu only stared at her before looking away. 

Wanting to keep the conversation going, Marie asked what those dances were, and Ren was happy to explain. There were a few simple ones danced at Bon Odori to respect the dead, and then there were complicated ones like the kagura dance which were performed during large ceremonies. She was actually supposed to perform it when she had graduated into being a Miko, but circumstances changed. 

"...Miko?" Yu asked, trying to seem nonchalant even though there was genuine curiosity in his eyes.

Perking up, Ren explained. "A Miko is a shrine maiden, priestess, healer, and messenger of their patron god. My duties to Amaterasu-sama include helping the ill, purifying evil, protection, and blessings. Actually," She looked behind her at her bow with a fond smile. "I used to hate it."

Marie tilted his head. "I find that very unbelievable. From what I can tell, you are very devoted to being a Miko. I heard your prayers last night and when you were gutting the deer."

Even Yu looked interested in her reasoning. "Yeah." He chimed in flatly. "I thought you were just some crazy girl who wouldn't stop muttering to herself."

Ren pouted. "It's not crazy since I'm communing with Amaterasu-sama, OK? To answer your question, Marie-san, I found it stupid." She chuckled mirthlessly. "I have known about Akuma all my life, and there were no exorcists to come save us. My town's populace slowly dwindled, and even my parents..." She looked down at the ground, walking automatically without pause. "All that was left of them was dust and blood." 

Marie bowed his head. "I'm sorry for your loss." He murmured respectfully.

"Thank you." She accepted graciously. "It hasn't even been that long, two years at most. But when you grow up fearing for your life every day, it's hard to believe in higher powers. In fact, I still didn't believe even when I was performing my Miko ceremony."

"What changed?" Yu asked from behind her, frowning thoughtfully.

"A Level 3 attacked." Ren explained with a bitter frown. "It killed...so many people." She could still feel their warm blood on her hakama, hear the sounds of their screams as they ran in fear. "Shishou- master wasn't around so my grandfather who is a priest tried to fight it off. His sutras worked but the Akuma pushed me into the bonfire. I..." She looked down at her small hands that were covered in callouses. "I was supposed to die, I think."

"And you think this ama-whatever saved you?" The Japanese boy snorted and crossed his arms. "That's a load of shit."

Ren turned to glare at him. "She did! And her name is Amaterasu-sama, goddess of the sun, heaven, and the universe." She gripped her strapped bow tightly with one hand. "It was because she accepted me as her Miko and protected me from the flames, that I can use the Innocence. It chose me because of her. The power to destroy Akuma may lie within this God's crystal, but my heart that desires to destroy them comes from her."

"Ren, you don't know that." Marie said gently, though it was accompanied with a bluntness that she hadn't expected. "Innocence work in mysterious ways. For all you know, it could have all been because of the Innocence responding to the presence of a Level 3. Perhaps the adrenaline from such a harrowing situation made you believe your goddess had reached out to you."

She shook her head. "No, that can't be true." She refuted passionately. "The Innocence didn't respond until Amaterasu-sama had protected me in the fire. If it really bonded with me because of the Level 3, then it would've merged with my weapon as soon as Shishou handed it to me. I _know_ she's watching over me." She paused when she realized she was getting too heated and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get so worked up over this. There's no wrong in asking for explanations."

Marie shook his head and gave her a sheepish smile. "No, but I shouldn't have judged you on your faith. I apologize." He sighed. "Perhaps your Amaterasu does exist. Look at us, we all have a mysterious power called Innocence helping us fight Akuma," He gestured to the whole group, even the two Generals who traveled at the front. "And there's no clear explanation as to where it came from, or who created it. There are many mysterious forces in this world, and your goddess is probably one of them, so...I apologize if I offended you." He bowed his head.

Blinking in surprise, Ren smiled softly. "No, it's OK. I...probably come across as too devoted, but it's really all I have left connecting me to my homeland. That culture doesn't exist out here," She gestured to their surroundings of rural China. "The clothes, the food, the language...I'm probably the only one out here who knows it all. It's lonely, so...I try to remind myself of it."

"...Is that why you were speaking to me in Japanese?" Yu asked quietly with a contemplative frown. "Because you thought I was a native?"

Ren turned to him and nodded quickly, glad that he understood. "Yes! I thought you were a _nihonjin_ \- a Japanese person, and well..." She smiled, embarrassed. "I suppose I overstepped my boundaries. I'm sorry, Yu-san."

He looked away with a frown. "Must've disappointed you, huh." He muttered petulantly.

She looked down at herself. "A little..." She confessed reluctantly. "But I don't blame you. The disappointment is my fault. I shouldn't have expected you to know-"

A vein pulsed in his temple and he turned to her with a mighty scowl. "Are you trying to say I'm dumb or something?!"

She blinked at his sudden shift in mood. "Um, no...I just-"

Grabbing her by her shoulders, Yu shook her none too gently. "I'll show you!" He barked, ignoring her swirly eyes. "Start fucking teaching me!"

"Yu!" Tiedoll turned around from his spot at the front and frowned disapprovingly. "Watch your language, and take your hands off Ren! You shouldn't be so rough with girls."

Turning around to watch as well, Cross only scoffed and blew out his cigarette smoke. "Renren, you don't have to entertain the pretty boy." A sly smirk spread across his face. "I know you're desperate, but you don't have to stoop that low."

Yu turned to scowl at him instead, letting his hands fall from her shoulders. "As if you have room to talk, you fucking pervert!" He retorted. "What kind of old guy like you travels with a little girl, huh?! Who's the real desperate one?!"

"Wha-" Cross held a hand to his chest, offended. "Watch your fucking mouth, kid!"

"You fucking watch your mouth, old man!"

"You little shit!"

Looking between the two as they traded crass insults at one another, Ren heaved a sigh and prayed to Amaterasu-sama for the patience she'd need. Instead of any peace however, she instead was answered with an explosion a little further down the road.

They paused in their argument just in time to unsheathe their weapons. A blast like that wasn't caused by anything except by Akuma, and judging by the following scream, it had found a victim. Without waiting for any of them, Yu rushed ahead with his sword held in his hands, leaving the rest of them to scramble after him. For his small size, he was fast, and quickly outran them to reach the Akuma first.

It was a measly Level 1; its plate-like gray outer shell slowly turned around to show the black and white devil mask that was its face, forever frozen screaming in agony. Underneath it was a pile of clothes with dust being the only thing left of the person it had killed.

It pointed its various barrels at the Japanese boy and opened fire, loud bangs filling the air. Yu dodged each and every bullet and jumped high in the air with his sword held up, Innocence activated. "Mugen!" Angling himself downward, he was about to slice it open when a barrel pivoted and aimed right at his face.

"Shit..!" He cursed just before the bullet exploded in his face and he was blown back, skidding on the ground. Black stars slowly covered his exposed skin as he shakily got back to his feet.

Finally arriving, Ren widened her eyes at the sight. "Yu-san! Your skin..!" She was about to rush up to him but he held an arm out.

His hair hung around his shoulders, covering almost all of his vision as he panted. With a clench of his fists around his sword, the virus began to disappear and he dashed forward once more, sliding underneath the Akuma to strike upward. His sword pierced through its tough shell and came out the other side unscathed, slicing it in half. As he sheathed Mugen, the Akuma exploded, leaving no traces of it ever existing.

Combing his long hair out of his face with a hand, Yu scowled at it. "Che..." 

Running up to him, Ren looked him over worriedly, eyes wide at the sight of his flawless skin. "But...the virus..." She knew without a doubt that the virus was 100% fatal. Whether it touched skin, or was inhaled, there was no escaping a fate of dissolving into dust. Yet the Japanese boy had just recovered from it like it was nothing, and whatever scratches he had obtained from being blown back had also disappeared. How..?

"I'm fine." Yu snapped at her. "I won't die that easily." 

She frowned, putting the thought away before rummaging through her pack. Finding what she was looking for, she held it out to him in her hand. He looked down at the white piece of cloth with a confused frown. "What..?"

"To tie your hair back." Ren explained. "I notice you keep your hair down, but it looked like it was getting in the way of your eyes. If it had obscured your vision for a second longer, that Akuma could've killed you." 

Scowling, he crossed his arms and turned away with a huff. Frowning at how petulant he was, she struck her hands out and quickly pulled his long hair back into a high ponytail, tying off the knot just as his sword was about to cut her. "There. Isn't it better like this?" She wasn't going to mention just how silky soft those indigo strands were. Did he use any special hair oils?

Glaring at her, he sheathed Mugen once more and patted his new ponytail. He wasn't going to admit that yes, it was a lot easier now that his hair was out of his face. "Whatever." He bit out, an embarrassed blush taking up most of his face. "Don't touch me again."

"Yu! Ren!" 

Marie rushed up to them, Tiedoll and Cross walking leisurely behind him, and placed a hand on his headphones. "Are the both of you all right? I only heard one Akuma, but I also heard Yu shouting..." 

"I'm fine!" Yu quickly answered before she could, and turned away. "I took care of the ugly thing. Let's just keep going." As he turned, his ponytail fluttered behind him like ribbons, catching the sun's rays at the right moment to shine like cerulean.

Ren could admit he did look better with his hair tied up like that, and it almost seemed like he was a samurai. Or as her master would say, "a pretty boy wielding a kitchen knife."

"What the fuck does Akuma even mean?" Yu muttered, strapping his sword to his back.

She sighed. If only he could stop using such crass words. "It means demon in Japanese."

"And sword?"

"Huh?"

"How do you say sword in Japanese?"

"Katana."

"...What about-"

And so on and so forth. It seemed like she had her work cut out for her, if he was actually serious about learning their native language. 

She smiled though. It was nice that he wanted to learn, even if it was just to spite her.


	11. Chapter 11

A week passed by in a blink of an eye, and Ren wondered just where the time flew.

They had come upon a small but bustling trade city in Central China, near the border of Tibet and India. Large, looming mountains covered in white enclosed one side of the town, and with a strong gust of wind, would send a flurry of snow down on the town even if the skies were clear. Yu had looked up with his signature frown, but his eyes were somber and muted. He stayed silent the entire way to the local inn, even when Marie quietly asked him if he was OK.

He didn't answer, but tore his eyes away from the heavens to direct them down at the road instead, a thunderous look on his face.

Ren decided to refrain from asking, but winced when she felt his negative energy almost skyrocket. Did he...hate the sky or something? Was it the snow? Could it be due to what had happened in his past? He had never decided to elaborate on himself, or even decide on a name that he was comfortable with. He was still "Yu" to them, as much as he hated hearing it. 

Maybe she was too nosy, so she used her being a Miko as an excuse to figure him out. She still wondered just how exactly he had recovered from the Akuma virus. It wasn't humanly possible without some sort of special power or blessing, from what she knew at least.

But he was still willing to learn, even if he did have some trouble. On the road, she would point at things and say their names in Japanese, such as the sky, trees, ground, squirrels, boars, etc. He'd listen and repeat them under his breath, but he struggled to really understand how to string a sentence together. She had actually asked him if he had any Japanese influences before in his life, but he would get this murderous look on his face and turn away, telling her to "fuck off" and that it was none of her business what his life had been like before he joined Tiedoll two months ago. 

She had to constantly remind herself that she had to be patient and not to blow up at him, even though his words cut her like a knife. After spending a few days with him, she knew not to take his words too deeply, but still. 

It didn't help that he kept staring at her too, or rather, around her. 

Yu would look at everything with a narrowed gaze, as if there was something constantly within his vision that he couldn't stand. When his mood was especially foul, he would stare directly at her, and given how she didn't want to anger him further, she said nothing about it. But it did make her a little self conscious. Did he stare at her because she was pretty? Ugly? Calming? Maybe he could see auras and found hers soothing? 

She didn't ask because she wanted him to tell her himself without her prompting him, but it was getting ridiculous. Not only would he stare at her while they traveled, but he would continue when they would make camp, when she prepared food for everyone, when she went to sleep first because the men around her kept coddling her and gave her the latest and therefore shortest shift. 

Once, he tried to follow her while she went to bathe and wouldn't take a hint. 

_"Um...Yu-kun," She started nervously as she watched him watch her, her hands on the buttons of her cheongsam. "I'm going to bathe..." She hinted. They hadn't seen a lake for two days and she was desperate to get clean. Not as bad as when she was stuck on a boat with Cross for 5 days, but just about._

_He just stared at her with those defying eyes of his and crossed his arms. "What if an Akuma attacks? You're going to be vulnerable."_

_She gave him a blank look. Was he serious..? "Not exactly..." She replied slowly. "I do have some barrier spells to protect myself, long enough to get my bow." Which was right at the edge of the lake at an easy grabbing distance. "I'm a girl, you know. And you're a boy."_

_"Is that supposed to mean something to me?" Yu retorted as serious as a rock. "We look the same age."_

_Ren was aghast. He wasn't even joking. "I...It's improper for a girl and a boy to see each other like this!" Especially at their age, and especially before marriage! Her body, though undeveloped, shouldn't be defiled like this! "Can you just...go back to camp? I promise I'll be fine on my own and you don't have to protect me."_

_He furrowed his brows and looked away. "But the lotuses..." He whispered._

_She blinked. Lotuses? Did he mean her?_

_Before she could ask, a looming shadow with shining demonic eyes appeared behind him and picked him up by the scruff of his cheongsam. "What are you doing here, brat?" Cross asked threateningly with a dangerous grin. "Don't you know not to peak on women? Hm?"_

_"Hey-!" Yu struggled in his grasp but couldn't get out of it. "I-I just wanted to make sure there were no Akuma!" He lied, a red hue overtaking his scowling face._

_"Hoo, I can hear the excuses you're cooking up in your brain." The general mocked, turning around to head back to camp with his new luggage over his shoulder. "Renren, don't take too long!"_

_"Let go of me!" The Japanese boy yelled, pounding his small fists against his back._

He hadn't gone that far since due to both Cross and Tiedoll lecturing him on the dos and don'ts when it came to the opposite sex, but still his eyes continued to stray to her. The only time she didn't mind was when she was teaching him Japanese. It was strange because the way he pronounced some words sounded like a westerner's. As if he had no concept of how the Japanese language worked. If he didn't look Japanese, Ren would think he was a westerner of some sort like Cross or Tiedoll.

Stopping in front of the inn, Cross sighed in relief. "Finally, civilization with a warm bed and more importantly, some women." 

Tiedoll sighed deeply with a pained look. "Marian, you're far too indulging in your own pleasures. You should learn to appreciate the natural beauty of the world."

"I am, though." Cross retorted. "I'm about to find some beautiful women."

"What about payment?" Ren asked, tugging at her Miko sleeve. "I don't think we have enough money..."

Her master turned to her with a mischievous grin, making her instantly wary. "That's where you come in, Renren."

"The hell are you planning?" Yu challenged, narrowing his eyes in suspicion. 

Before Cross could answer though, the innkeeper opened the doors and welcomed them in. " _Welcome, welcome travelers!_ " He greeted them in Cantonese. " _How many beds and for how long will you stay?_ "

" _Five beds with baths._ " Cross ordered. " _And it's only for one night._ "

" _Wonderful!_ " The innkeeper quickly wrote them down in his guest book. " _Your total is 50 silver. If you're using guineas then it'll be 12 guinea. How would you like to pay?_ "

" _Actually..._ " Cross grinned slyly before gently pushing Ren toward the counter, her with a puzzled frown on her face. " _Why don't I offer you this? This girl is a fully fledged priestess from a faraway land, trained in dispelling evil and lingering spirits. The reason why we stopped here for the night is because she sensed a vengeful spirit in this very building._ "

The innkeeper sputtered. " _What? That's preposterous!_ " 

" _Is it?_ " The general asked firmly. " _Has there been no signs of ill will? Perhaps rotting food when they were no where close to expiring, or the drinking water turning brown even though you know you stored it correctly._ "

His face turned pale and he muttered to himself. " _Th-That time the vase broke into a million pieces but no one touched it, and my jade bracelet..._ " He brushed against his wrist where they could see a strip of skin there was paler than the rest of him. " _Then what do I do?!_ " He cried out. " _If there's a evil demon haunting my inn, I have to do something immediately!_ "

" _And this is where Ren comes in._ " Cross bragged, knowing he had the upper hand now. " _She can purify your inn and prevent any more evil spirits from coming near here, leaving it safe for you and your guests. We just need a place for tonight and you'll come out of this with a lifetime of secured prosperity._ "

" _Done!_ " The innkeeper immediately accepted and bowed to the young girl. " _Let me show you to your rooms and the young priestess can get to work!_ "

" _Yup!_ " Cross grinned innocent-like if not triumphantly. " _Her sacred duty and stuff._ " When the innkeeper bent down to grab their room keys, he turned to the rest of their group and gave them a thumbs up. "Looks like we don't have to pay."

"Shishou..." Ren began slowly, looking at him wide-eyed. "I'm not sure I heard right since it was all in Cantonese, but did you just..." 

"Sell her services in exchange for room and board?" Marie finished, a look of disbelief on his face. Tiedoll and Yu stood behind him with the former's face slowly turning red from indignation.

The redhead shrugged. "Hey, we get a free night at the best inn in town and all Ren has to do is slap some sutras around and sprinkle some salt." He patted her head. "I knew you were good for something." He cooed. "If I can't sell your Miko abilities, then I can advertise you as a musician. You play the koto, right? They have something similar here in China."

Placing her face in her hands, Ren breathed out a long suffering sigh. "Shishou..." She had an inkling this would happen. Back when they stayed with Anita, some of the girls had worked overtime for the entirety of their stay, probably because her master drank and ate like a king without the riches of one. And now he's found a meal ticket in her. "How did you even know this place would have evil spirits?"

"I bullshitted it." He stated matter-of-factly. Behind him, Tiedoll could be heard facepalming.

"Oi..." Yu elbowed her side, ignoring her squeak of pain. "Aren't you going to object to this shit?"

" _Your rooms are ready!_ " The innkeeper chirped, gesturing for them to follow him. " _Unfortunately, we only have four rooms, but I'm sure the two girls can share!_ "

Immediately, Ren covered her mouth. "Pff..." Did she hear that right?

"What?" Yu asked curiously, his ponytail falling over one shoulder. He had kept it up since she had tied it for him since it was easier to fight with it like this. "What did he say?"

The innkeeper gave Cross, Tiedoll, and Marie their own rooms, before gesturing to the last one. " _And here you go, Ms. Priestess! Please start soon, OK?_ " He bowed again before skipping toward the front desk, leaving Yu and Ren to stare at their shared room for the night. It had the typical Chinese style lattice windows and walls, and the floors were a smooth dark wood. Two raised beds were situated in the back behind a sheer curtain, and the sitting area featured a writing desk, a few chairs, and a small dining table.

"...Oh." Yu uttered with a red face. "What the fuck."

Sighing, Ren walked in and dropped her pack. "It's just for one night, Yu-kun." She consoled, taking a seat at the writing table where ink and paper had already been prepared for her. 

"Don't call me that." He snapped with no anger, and walked up behind her. "What are you doing?"

"If we're staying here because I'm to purify this place of evil spirits, then I may as well do it." She answered absentmindedly. Holding her sleeve back with one hand, she gripped the brush and gently dipped it into the ink, letting the fibers soak up the black liquid. She hadn't done this in a long while, since Anita's actually. 

Taking a deep breath, she dragged the brush down in one stroke, and without lifting the brush, swiveled it left, down, right, in a square, and down once more, completing one sutra of protection. Pushing the finished one to the side, she drew another, and another, until she had a desk full of sutras. Yu watched quietly behind her, his eyes tracing over how her small hand could write all of this without wasting even a drop of ink, or even messing up.

Exhaling, Ren placed the brush down. "There. I'll let them dry for a few minutes before going around to apply them."

"So...These actually work?" He asked skeptically. "It's not just some hoax to con the innkeeper?"

"I'm sure that's what Shishou intended," Ren grumbled. "But yes, they work. I'm not sure if this place truly does have any negative auras around, I would have to meditate to make sure, but it couldn't hurt putting these up." She gestured to her finished sutras. "These are the kanji for protection and purification. Would you like to learn?"

Yu scoffed and turned his back to her to plop down on a empty chair, hugging Mugen tightly to his person. "What would I need to know them for? It's not like I'm gonna be a priest or whatever." 

She deflated, crestfallen. "Oh...Then," An idea came to her. "How about your name?"

He immediately scowled. "What about it?"

Ren tilted her head. "You hate when we call you "Yu," so...Let's think up another name. Shishou told me that all exorcists members need to have a first name and a surname."

Though he still frowned, there was genuine intrigue in it. Instead of waiting for him, she placed down a fresh piece of paper and wrote the multiple different kanjis for "Yu" on them. "Depending on how your name is written, it could have different meanings." She explained, smiling when he moved his chair closer to see. "This one means excellence, superiority, or gentleness."

"Che..."

"This one," She pointed to the next one. "Means distant or leisurely, so the person could be described by their name as someone who keeps to their own way. This one means masculinity. Friend. Assistance. This one," She pointed to the last kanji. "Means bravery." 

He rested his head against his palm. "So?" He asked tensely. "A name is just a name. I didn't choose this." He glanced away for a moment, his blue eyes darkening to a midnight hue. "I didn't choose anything..."

"Then let's have you choose your new name." Ren smiled softly. "It's entirely up to you this time." He can keep his secrets. All she wanted was to help him find a little peace, and if a new name could help with that, then she was more than happy to contribute to it.

He stared at her and around her, his eyes catching sight of something that she couldn't see, and slowly nodded. "OK." 

She beamed, happy that he had finally accepted her help. "All right, let's try thinking some up." She hummed in thought. "How about Akiyama? It means autumn hill."

"No."

"Ishikawa? It means stone river."

"Hell no."

"Oshiro? Great castle."

"Eh..."

Ren sighed and put her brush down. "All right, why don't you tell me what defines you then?" It would be better than her just rattling off several names only for him to reject it.

Yu blinked. "Defines me..?"

"What is one trait about yourself that describes you well?" She asked. "It can be anything. It can be your strength in battle, your taste in food, a location you like, how you feel about your place in the world. Anything and everything that is connected to you."

He looked down at his hands, the skin as smooth and flawless as ever even after wielding a sword for months, years. They held no blemishes, not a single callous or scar, and he clenched them tightly. "...I feel like God is laughing at me." He muttered lowly, inclining his head so that his bangs shadowed his eyes from her gaze. "I feel like I'm nothing but something to be manipulated. A weapon to be pointed toward the enemy without any regards to himself. I..." He growled, lips pulled back in snarl. "I'm only alive right now because he- they want something from me. That's it. That's all I was created to be."

He suddenly stood up, knocking back his chair with a thump, and paced around the plain but well kept room. "This is stupid." He berated himself. "Why the fuck do I care about this shit?"

Taken aback, Ren stared at him in shock. Is that really how he felt..? That his existence was just a fleeting fancy from the gods? Everyone was born with their own paths ordained by the gods, yes, but...They were human for a reason. And humans are best known to create their own paths in life.

She may be a servant of Amaterasu-sama, but it didn't mean that was all she was. She was also an exorcist, a healer, a young girl who liked dancing and playing music. She was Saitou Ren. And Yu, who was so in pain and embroiled in his anger for being born against his will and put through something traumatic by the gods...

For being a plaything of God...

"Kanda." 

He looked up at her. "What?" He bit out.

"Kanda." Ren repeated softly. "Mitoshiro. Holy Field of the Gods. A place that is nourished and taken care of to be gifted to the gods."

"Gifted to the gods..." He repeated before chuckling bitterly and sitting back down on his discarded chair. "How fucking fitting..."

They sat in silence for a few moments, him looking around aimlessly and pausing at certain spots of the room before turning his gaze back to her and around her. "...Kanda Yu." He uttered quietly. "Does it work?"

Smiling softly, Ren nodded. "If that is what you choose." Picking up her brush once more, she wrote down 神田ユウ. "Kanda Yu. Let's leave your first name as just the sounds."

"Fine by me." The newly named Kanda shrugged. "Since we're talking about names...What does yours mean? Being all 'traditionally Japanese.'" He quoted mockingly, though she could tell he wasn't being mean spirited.

Ren wrote down her name 斎藤蓮. "My family name means purification of wisteria. Wisterias in Japan symbolize immortality, and my shrine actually has a wisteria tree that is over 600 years old." She hoped it was still there, along with her grandfather. She hoped he was well enough to take care of everything on his own for now. One day, when she was stronger, she would go back to save him and their town. "It's fitting because my family line has always been with the shrine."

"So you're born into servitude?" Kanda snorted, leaning back in his chair. "Guess we're more alike than I thought..." He didn't elaborate any more on it and Ren let it slide. He had already revealed more to her in an hour than he had the entire week they had known one another.

"Not really. I told this to you already, but I wasn't devout whatsoever before my Miko ceremony." Ren reminded him. "I followed the same customs, but that was because I grew up with it. It was more about tradition than religion." 

"And now?" He raised a brow. "Since you claim your amaterasu saved you." 

"Now...It's still more about tradition." She giggled at his confused face. "Whether I pray to her or not, or I practice my sutras," She gestured to the table full of dried sutras. "Or even if I stray and retire from being a Miko, I would still hold it close to my heart because it means home. When I pray to her, I pray because of the people around me, not because of her. My sutras are for protecting humans, not gods. Being a Miko means carrying my culture with me, and trying to really understand the world." 

Kanda stared at her with his brows furrowed in confusion. "Wouldn't Amaterasu get mad at you?"

Ren raised a brow. "That would mean the entire world would be mad at me. Amaterasu-sama isn't really a god like your biblical God, she's more just a representation of what she governs. If she was mad at me, that would mean the sun, heaven, and the universe was mad at me, and that just doesn't make sense. Emotions don't translate into higher beings like her. She just Is." She tapped her chin. "Does that make sense? You don't worship a god or goddess like that, it's more about respecting the world around you."

"So...Let me get this straight," He scrunched up his face and tried to make sense of it all. "You're telling me the gods and goddesses from your home aren't a man and a woman with powers like God, but more like...everything that has life? So doesn't that mean a tree could be a god?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Exactly! A tree, a river, the ocean, the ground, the sky, the air...Anything that is alive or provides life can be considered kami." 

"...Right." Kanda sighed and held a hand to his head. "So what does your first name mean?"

"Hm?"

"You only explained your last name." He explained irritably. "Saitou meaning purification of wisteria. So what does Ren mean?"

She hovered her finger over the kanji, tracing a shape that the character had derived from, forming a 6 petaled flower. "It means lotus."

He jerked his head up to stare at her with wide eyes. "What..?" They darted around her, as if trying to seek out something. Something that she couldn't see herself. His breathing began to pick up, his chest inflating and deflating faster than usual.

Ren tilted her head. "It means lotus." She repeated softly. "One who strives for enlightenment. I suppose it fits me in a way."

Collapsing against the back of his chair, he held a hand to his eyes and began chuckling. The sound was bitter and weary, and her heart twinged uncomfortably. "Of fucking course it's lotus..." He breathed out in defeat. "They won't leave me alone..."


	12. Chapter 12

After that, Kanda had fallen silent.

Ren tried to engage him in more conversation, perhaps learn a few more words in Japanese? But he wouldn't respond. He only stared at her with tired eyes that reflected an age that was much too old for his young appearance. He would glance around her, and not find what he was looking for, only when his gaze strayed away from her person.

She found it strange that he always seemed to find something around them to look at, and it wasn't anything like the furniture, the walls, or even the trees when they were on the road. No, it was more like he saw tiny little objects that was only visible to him, and they constantly distracted him. The only time his eyes weren't darting around were when he focused them on her, and he only did this with her. When he spoke with Marie, or even did his one on one sessions with Tiedoll, he would glance to the side at times, or their shoulders and laps, as if something had landed there.

When she stood up and grabbed her sutras, she inquired if he wanted to accompany her and watch how her magic worked. He didn't say anything, but stood up as well, Mugen in his hand. He had also resumed staring at her with those eyes of his. Tired, confused, weary, and angry eyes. 

If she was truthful, she was getting sick of it. 

With a frown, she walked out of the room and down the hallway to where the kitchen was. The chef gifted her a small pouch of salt that she asked for, but very reluctantly. Salt and other spices, though common around here since it was a trade city, was still expensive. She didn't think she could ask for materials to make a haraegushi, but this would be more than enough, especially if Cross really was just bullshitting and there were no vengeful or negative spirits haunting the building. 

Kanda continued following after her as she walked around the inn, placing the sutras in the hallway, the front desk (where the innkeeper bowed and thanked her profusely), and on the outside. If she wasn't placing sutras, she was sprinkling blessed salt in the corners. When she placed one on the veranda beam outside, a dark mist suddenly materialized out from the walls. 

Ren gasped and took a step back, realizing belatedly that she hadn't brought her bow with her. She didn't think there actually was a spirit here! 

The mist solidified into a woman-like creature with long black hair that morphed into two pairs of deadly sharp claws. Beneath the curtain of its hair showed a monstrous face with pointy mechanical teeth, and it hissed at them. "Exorcists..! How did you find me?! I hid myself quite well!" 

"Not well enough." Ren retorted. An Akuma of all things. It seemed her master was correct. "How many people have you killed, you pitiful demon?"

"'Not quite enough.'" It mocked her. "I was going to kill the innkeeper tonight, but..." It licked its nonexistent lips and lunged at them, one claw outstretched. "I'd rather kill you!" 

Immediately unsheathing Mugen, Kanda drew his fingers against the blade. "Mugen, activate!" The blade began to glow a silver blue, reflecting the orange of the setting sun, and he braced himself against the more powerful Akuma. Sparks flew as its claws met his sword, and with a yell, he pushed it back and sliced downward. 

It cried out in pain and flew higher to put some distance between them. "Damn you! That hurt..!" It wailed. "I want to taste your blood!" Angling itself downward, it dived straight toward the two youths, and its hair separated into several smaller strands, acting as whips. 

Both Kanda and Ren dodged out of the way with the latter rolling to her feet, a sutra between her fingers. She only had one left and even though it won't kill it, it'll at least immobilize it for Kanda to. "Yu- _Kanda-kun_!" She shouted for his attention and threw the sutra. It flew through the air and glued itself to the underside of the Akuma, paralyzing it with white lightning sparks. "Go!"

It took him a few seconds to realize she was calling out to _him_. "Don't have to tell me twice!" He growled and jumped up high with his blade raised, the sharp edge being brought down against the creepy floating head. It screeched in pain as it was cut in half and exploded a second later, leaving nothing in its wake. 

Landing on the ground, Kanda sheathed Mugen once more and turned to her. "...Kanda works." He affirmed with a small smirk. "It'll be better than people calling me Yu."

Ren bit her lip, brushing any dust off her Miko robes. "...Can I still call you 'Yu'?" She asked shyly. "Even though we hadn't chosen a meaning for it, it's a nice name." And even though they had chosen Kanda for him and it was to his liking, she still thought of him as Yu. She had known him as Yu first.

His smirk faded into a frown, and his brow furrowed into a look of conflict. "I..." He whispered, his hand clenching Mugen tightly enough that his knuckles were stark white against his skin.

Ren looked down, crestfallen. He still...didn't accept her. She had been trying so hard to reach out to him, to teach him their shared heritage. She had tried to be understanding and patient, even helping him find a new name for himself, and yet...Why did she have to be the one who offered all the time? Why did she have to keep trying? What was she to him? Just a person his age? An annoyance? Someone he barely tolerated? "What do you see me as?" She asked bluntly. "Why exactly do you have a problem with people calling you your name?"

His face darkened with a scowl. "That's none of your fucking business." He growled. "And what the fuck do you mean what do I see you as?"

She frowned, ignoring the first. Fine, if he didn't want to answer about his name, then she'll leave it. But still. "Do you see me as an annoyance?" She asked apprehensively. "Or an ally? Your tutor?...A friend?"

He flinched at the mention of friends, and she knew she had hit a sore spot. "I..." He clenched his teeth and glared at her. "I have no friends and I don't need any either!" He roared at her venomously. He may as well have torn her heart out and stomped on it with how vehement he was. "You're just barely more tolerable than the others, OK?! You're just another damn exorcist in this fucking organization. "

Her eyes watered up and she bit her lip to hold back the tears. Was that...really what he thought of her? As just an "exorcist"? Did them spending time together this whole week constitute to nothing? That he was learning their language from her voluntarily was just him tolerating her presence to use her for her knowledge? Did he stare at her because he was just considering what he could take advantage of? 

Was she even a person to him?

"Is everything all right, Yu, Ren?" 

Tiedoll had opened the balcony door in his room and looked at them with concern. "I heard an explosion and shouting. Had there been an Akuma?" He asked worriedly. "Are you two hurt?" 

Kanda made a che noise and turned around. "It's none of your concern, old man." He snapped. "I'm going to train. No one better follow me."

"Yu!" The general called out to him only to receive a glare.

"It's Kanda!" Kanda yelled before taking off in the direction of the mountains behind them. Ren didn't bother to go after him. Why should she? He didn't want her around. She...

She really had fooled herself into thinking he liked her. If not a friend then at least as an acquaintance. A comrade. Instead, she was "barely tolerable" in his words. She just wanted to connect with him. If not through their shared heritage then as exorcists, and if not through exorcists, then as fellow youths even though she looked older than him by a year or two. 

Ren felt numb, but deep inside, she really wanted to cry. 

"Ren?"

Blinking, she slowly looked up to see Tiedoll. He frowned worriedly and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Are you all right, Ren?" He asked softly. "Come, take a seat with me. You look exhausted." 

She was, since she didn't refuse. They took a seat at a nearby stone bench, just in view of a small pond filled with Koi. The pond was clear, showing it was only three feet deep with lots of flora growing from the bed. The koi swam around peacefully, not a care in the world except in their forage for food. 

They only reminded her of the Koi she had lost to that foreign man, and Ren couldn't help the tears rolling down her face. Tiedoll gasped and fished out a handkerchief from his pocket, handing it to her. "Here." He offered kindly. "It's all right now. Cry all you want."

Ren sobbed quietly, unable to keep her shoulders from trembling. Her heart ached; from loneliness, from rejection, from losing so much in such a short amount of time. Her friends, her parents, her home. She missed it so much. She missed the smell of grilled salmon in the mornings. The breeze of cherry blossoms and maple leaves. The gongs of the temple bell. The sound of her language. The taste of miso and nori. The very air and land, though polluted by Akuma.

She was always surrounded by others, but in reality she was more alone than ever, especially now when the only one who could relate to her had just confessed that she was nothing to him.

Warm arms wrapped around her and brought her into a sturdy chest. The smell of paint fumes, charcoal, and the outdoor elements clung to the fabrics, creating a strange blend that somehow helped her calm down. Though her tears drenched his worn tunic, she slowly quieted to small hiccups until finally she was too tired to produce any more tears.

His large hand rubbed her back comfortingly. "Feel better?" Tiedoll asked quietly, but not unkindly.

Ren felt herself nod. She didn't really, but it did help to cry a little. 

"Do you want to talk about it?"

No...but she might as well. There was no point in holding onto unnecessary baggage like this. She should have more balance when it came to her emotions. "...Yu- Kanda-kun, he...I asked him if he considers me a friend, and he..." She breathed shakily. "He said I'm just 'another damn exorcist in this organization.' I'm...I'm hurt." She confessed quietly, though ashamed. It shouldn't hurt her this much, they had only known each other for a week. But it was because it was him that it hurt this much. "I thought we were at least acquaintances. I really wanted to get to know him better, not just because he's Japanese, but because it's like he's crying for help. He won't say it but he gets that look in his eyes where he's reliving painful memories, and I just want to help."

Tiedoll listened to all this with an attentive ear, not interrupting her for even a moment.

"It's fun teaching him Japanese, even though he's only doing it to prove he's not dumb. It's nice fighting with him, because he's always reliable and fast. Even though he stares at me all the time, I don't really mind. Maybe he thinks I'm soothing, as a Miko's image is to anyone. But..." She clenched her fists in his tunic. "Kanda-kun doesn't want me around. I'm nothing to him. He said it himself."

"You call him Kanda?" He asked quietly.

She nodded. "He doesn't like being called Yu, so I offered to help him come up with a surname that we can address him with. We chose Kanda because it means holy field of the gods. He found it ironic somehow." 

Tiedoll nodded understandingly. "You have helped him a lot this past week, haven't you?" He sighed and patted her head. "You have every right to feel this way. Yu isn't...the best when it comes to others." He worded carefully. "He's traveled with me for two months now and I have barely scratched his shell...Has he told you what had happened to him?"

Ren shook her head. "No, but...Marie-san told me that he had lost someone close to him."

The artist nodded. "That's right. It's not my place to say anything. If Yu wants to tell you, then he will. Suffice to say, he doesn't want to get close to people ever again."

She closed her eyes. "I see..." So...he was only trying to protect himself? It wasn't because he hated her? She was scared that this would raise her hopes up only to be rejected again.

"However," Tiedoll chuckled. "That won't be stopping me, and I'm sure it won't be stopping you either." He took a hold of her shoulders and straightened her up with a wise smile. "We just have to show Yu that we aren't going anywhere."

"You aren't going to start calling him Kanda, Tiedoll-sama?" Ren asked curiously.

"Nope." He cheerfully replied. "Yu is still his name, and as his father figure, I should refer to him by the name he knows best. Of course, he can go by Kanda to the rest of the Order if he so wishes. So long as he can be happy, I will be fine."

"So long as he's happy..." Ren repeated softly. That's right. It wasn't about her. She may have lost people precious to her, but she had grieved and found a way to cope via her faith and traditions. Kanda was drifting with nothing to ground him to reality. He had lost someone close to him and he didn't know how to grieve or cope. With his habit of looking at those invisible objects around him, he was more likely to lose himself.

She could help ground him. He already stared at her constantly whenever he was too irritated by whatever invisible objects he was seeing. She had inadvertently become a soothing mechanism for him.

She could be his anchor to this world. 

"Yes." Ren nodded and rubbed her face of tears, determination overtaking her melancholy. "I'm going to help him and stay by his side, even if he continues to reject me as a friend." Not just because she was a Miko and that it was her duty to help people, but because she cared about him. Even if he was a jerk, she knew he had a kind side to him.

Taken aback by her vow, Tiedoll laughed with a knowing twinkle in his eyes. "I see." He remarked in amusement. "I'm glad Yu has someone like you in his life now. Actually..." He paused for a moment. "How do you feel about Marian?"

Ren blinked at the sudden change in subject. "Shishou? He's...special. He's the first westerner I've ever met." She pursed her lips. "He drinks a lot, spends too much time indulging with women, and smokes too much to be healthy." She scowled. "He also likes to use me as a meal ticket. When we stayed in Guangzhou, he took advantage of Anita-san's kindness and affections because I 'needed a safe place to recover and learn about the outside world.'" 

"Sounds like him." Tiedoll muttered with a roll of his eyes. "Has he taught you anything yet? You've been with him for...a month now?"

"Well..." Ren bit her lip. "He threw a bible at me and told me to read up on it to improve my English skills and to understand the history of the war with the Millennium Earl. He also makes me go into battle first to gain experience, which is understandable. He usually stands back to watch."

Holding a hand to his face, he dragged it down with a sigh. "That man should never be trusted with children. It's a miracle you're still whole and intact." 

She giggled. "I agree that he shouldn't be let near children, but I'm not really a child. Being a shrine maiden first and now a Miko, I think I'm plenty mature enough to deal with Shishou's...eccentricities."

Tiedoll looked pained at her reasoning. "Nevertheless, you're only 12 or so, correct? I don't think a man like him is a good fit to be your general. You see, I'm bringing this up because I would like to offer you a spot with me, Marie, and Yu."

Gasping, she looked at him in shock. "Huh..?" He wanted to be her new master?

"You said it yourself," He continued. "You want to stay by Yu's side to help him, and what better way than to be a fellow apprentice of mine? Marian isn't fit to teach children, or anyone for that matter. That man only sees other people as pawns." He explained grimly. "I don't want you to be hurt by his ruthless tactics. I would love to have you on my team, if you so wish. I can convince Marian to release you into my custody instead."

Ren looked down at her hands, at the many callouses that covered her fingers. She liked Tiedoll, she won't lie. He was kind and peaceful to be around, a true artist who loved admiring the natural beauty of the world. In the one week she had known him, he would constantly stop to admire the sights of trees, of mountains, of animals, and would want to draw them on his canvases. If he had been born in Japan, he would no doubt be a devout priest under Amaterasu-sama.

And yes, her current master wasn't the best man to be around. He drank himself stupid every day if he had access to alcohol, he indulged in women far too often when they were available, he didn't really try to teach her anything, and took advantage of her talents for himself. 

But...

He had voluntarily come to Japan for her. He gave her the power of Innocence, allowing her to finally fight back her tormentors. He protected her and took her out of Japan. He showed her the world outside, introduced her to new foods, clothing, language, and people. Without him, she would've never met Anita-san, Mahoja-san, and all the Jiejies in the brothel. 

And whenever he called her Renren. Even though he did it teasingly and she pouted about it, it made her feel warm that he even made a nickname for her. That she was someone special enough to him that he referred to her in such an affectionate manner. 

Noticing her silence, Tiedoll patted her head. "Well, you don't have to decide now." He reassured quietly. "We will be traveling together for a while longer, at least until we reach Russia." He smiled. "You can use that time to make up your mind, and perhaps understand Yu a little better."

Ren nodded. That was fair. It would probably take another month before they reached Europe, and that was plenty of time for her to come to a decision. Tiedoll was nice, and she did want to spend more time getting to know Marie and introducing Kanda to their culture, but Cross was her guardian.

A golden blur flew into her face and gently bumped against her forehead. She flinched at it and blinked when she saw it was Timcampy. "What is it?" 

He flew down to her hand and gently nibbled her thumb, then looked back up at her and pointed his wing toward the inn. "Oh, is it dinner time?" She asked, the little golem nodding affirmatively. 

Tiedoll looked up at the sky where it was only streaked with a orange red now, the dark blue overtaking most of it. "My, had it gotten so late?" Standing up from the bench, he stretched a little and held out his hand to her. "Shall we go have dinner?"

Ren glanced toward the mountains with worry. "But...Kanda-kun..."

"Yu can take care of himself." He gently reassured. "He just needs time to calm down and work through his thoughts. Let's leave him be for now, and if he doesn't come back in a few hours, we'll go search for him, hm?"

Biting her lip, she slowly nodded and took his offered hand, Timcampy nestling into her hair. "OK."

She didn't want to crowd him. She had focused so much on him this past week that she had been neglecting herself, and more importantly, her duties and prayers. She just had to let the world unfurl by itself. 


	13. Chapter 13

Dinner was a lively affair.

Cross had actually managed to find a very beautiful woman who had attached herself to his side all throughout dinner, giggling when he whispered to her and made sure to pour him more rice wine when he asked. Tiedoll was intrigued by how his dinner was placed- a perfectly filleted carp, complimented with ginger flowers and pan fried greens- and spent most of it in a quiet discussion with Marie.

Ren couldn't hear much of it but she did make out "how have you adjusted," and "please let me know if we should stop at anytime," and finally "you and Yu are like my sons, you know." Both were said by Tiedoll.

He was very much a caring man.

As for herself, Ren ate her own dinner, but continuously glanced to the seat to her left where a meal tray was placed on the dining table, still untouched. Kanda had yet to come back from the mountains and it had been almost two hours now. She really did want to enjoy her well-prepared food -the first time in a week full of fireside fish and deer jerky- but she just couldn't. Instead of the signature growls of hunger, her stomach felt like it was being knotted with worry and something she didn't want to admit.

"Ren?"

She jumped and looked up to see Marie smiling kindly in her direction. "Are you all right?" He asked, some of his question being drowned out by Cross' obnoxious laughter. "I haven't heard you say anything and you haven't moved since you sat down. You've barely touched your food."

"U-Um..." Ren pursed her lips guiltily. She hadn't meant to worry him. "I'm OK, just not that hungry..."

"Is this about Yu?" Marie pressed gently, putting his bowl down. "I'm sure he's fine and he'll be back soon. He may look young but he's quite capable with his sword."

"I know..." How could she not when he sliced every Akuma they encountered like butter? Even the way he sheathed and unsheathed his sword was like an experienced samurai's. Maybe too experienced for his age. "I...I said some things and he said some things. I just want him to know it's OK to be friends." 

The large man faltered for a moment, his lips pursing into a grimace, before he forced a smile on his face. "...You're a sweet and very mature girl, Ren. I'm sure Yu sees that."  

Drinking the rest of his cup, Cross slammed it down on the table with a bang and stood up. "All right, dinner's over. I'm retiring to my room for the night with my sweet lady here," He smirked at the courtesan who giggled and snuggled against his arm. "Renren, make sure you do your stuff but don't stay up too late." And with that flippant advice, he left the dining room with his escort, disappearing down the hall. 

Tiedoll only shook his head. "That man..." He muttered before sighing. "I suppose it is getting rather late. I think I will retire for the night as well. Marie? Ren?" 

Marie inclined his head. "Of course, master. It'll be nice to have a mattress again instead of a bedroll."

Ren glanced over at the untouched tray and with a determined frown, picked it up with her. "I'll bring this with me in case Yu- Kanda-kun comes back and he is hungry."

"Kanda?" Marie voiced, confused. "Is that his new name?"

"A new surname." She corrected with a bashful smile. "We made it up together since he doesn't like being called Yu."

The two older exorcists shared a look and both stifled their chuckles. "Ahh, kids." Marie voiced fondly with a knowing smile. "Don't stay up too late, Ren. It's not good since you're still growing." 

Tilting her head, Ren wondered what they meant but bowed anyway and left back to her shared room with the tray of food in her hands. She held it in one hand and opened the door with the other, closing it behind her after when she entered the room. Placing the now cold dinner on the small table in their room, she straightened up and looked around. What should she do now? Should she still try to wait for Kanda to come back? Or should she go take a bath and meditate? 

Ren pursed her lips but decided not to squander her time.

After a nice bath in the women's bathing area, she dressed in her night cheongsam that she received from the Jiejies and sat cross-legged on top of her bed with her eyes closed. They hadn't talked about who would sleep where but it didn't really matter since both beds were the same. 

No matter how many times she took a deep breath, or tried to synchronize herself to her environments, she couldn't stop thinking about earlier. Again, no matter how many times she's tried, she just keeps going back to the same thoughts.

Yu.

Or rather, Kanda. He had taken to the name well enough, though he wasn't used to it at all since it took him a few seconds to realize she was yelling for him earlier during the fight with the surprise Akuma. Reviewing through everything she knew about him, she felt stunned to realize she...really didn't know much.

He had never told her how old he was, even though they looked the same age. He may look Japanese but must've grown up without Japanese parents because he had no knowledge about their culture. The way he pronounced their language was butchered, like that one time she tried to teach a Jiejie how to say konnichiwa. The way he brandished his sword was too experienced for his age.

Most strange of all was his ability to heal.

He had withstood the Akuma virus, and any cuts or injuries he received in battle would disappear in a matter of _hours._ That wasn't normal. Marie had mentioned he was raised within the Order, and didn't know much about the outside world. Could he have been infused with magic by the Order?

She took another deep breath and forced her muscles to relax, only now realizing she had been digging her nails into her palms.

Cross had told her about how technology was more advanced out here compared to Japan, and that the Black Order had science down to an art form where it was decades ahead of the general populace's. Did that mean medicines were more effective than herbs and prayers? Had the Order found a way to help them? 

She would've believed it was out of their good will if Kanda wasn't so unhappy with it. 

Every time he was injured, he would scowl at his wounds akin to a demon, his expression dark with an almost inhuman rage. It was almost like he was...angry that he was healing? 

Ren furrowed her brow and opened her eyes to let out a sigh, shoulders slumping. What was she doing? She wasn't meditating at all. Again, she was too focused on Kanda and not herself. Was she so invested in him because they were both Japanese? Was she letting her own biases and conceptions interfere with her impression of him? Did she only care about him because he looked Japanese..?

"Oi."

Gasping at the unexpected voice, she turned her head to see Kanda standing at the doorway of their shared room. He had no scratches on him, but he had dirt stains on his arms and a fine coating of dust on him. His hair was down from his now usual ponytail, and for some reason had stayed clean and straight. His face held his usual frown, but the fiery anger from earlier had died down to a low simmer. "...I'm back." He voiced out after a tense and awkward pause. 

Ren blinked and hesitated for a second. "Okaeri." She voiced out quietly, trepidation growing at seeing him again. She had waited for him, hadn't she? So why did she feel so...apprehensive about it? "You should go bathe. I saved your dinner for you." She gestured to the small dining table and the covered tray on top of it.

Kanda looked at where she pointed and nodded reluctantly. Placing Mugen against the wall, he left down the hall with a change of clothes in his bag. 

Letting out a sigh, Ren laid down on her bed and stared up at the squared carvings on the ceiling. It was quiet, even though it was a trade town, and summer was quickly approaching. Soon, the sound of cicadas would fill the air and monsoon season would begin-

No.

Ren bit her lip, trying to withhold her tears. She had cried enough today, and there was no point in crying over the past. She wasn't in Japan anymore, and there was nothing of the sort to comfort her here. She didn't think she would ever miss her home so much. How much she would miss the heavy weight of the Akumas' blood lust if only because it meant she was home. Was her grandfather even alive? He had been injured during the ceremony, and exhausted from fighting off Level 2s. Did her home even still exist? Was Kanazawa even still on the map? 

She rolled over so she would face the wall, letting the fabrics of her pillow block absorb her tears. She hated that she was so homesick.

The sound of the room door opening caught her ears but she didn't move, only listening to Kanda taking a seat at the dining table. She let the sounds of him eating his dinner wash over her, distracting her from thinking anymore. How his chopsticks clinked against the porcelain bowls, the sound of him chewing, followed up by him finishing the already cold stew. "Ugh..." She heard him grunt in disgust. 

His footsteps came closer and she heard him throw himself down on his own bed, Mugen's sheath colliding with the bed frame for a second. She didn't turn around though, and he didn't speak. Even though it was so silent, she could still feel his gaze burn into her back. Several times he inhaled, like he was about to speak, but stopped at the last second. With a sharp exhale, he blew the last candle out and laid down, the room now blanketed in shadows from the moon's rays peeking in.

It was tense, too quiet, and the atmosphere was full of unasked questions and restrained answers.

Clenching her jaw, Ren closed her eyes and began meditating. Sooner or later, she'll slip into a light sleep whether or not she wanted to. They can talk in the morning.

 

* * *

 

A scream broke through her trance like breaking glass and Ren shot out of her bed, eyes wide. Her heart was pumping a mile a minute from the unexpected scare and she took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. The screaming hadn't stopped and she slowly turned her head.

Kanda was thrashing in his sleep, eyes clenched shut to the point where the vein in his temple was taut against his skin. His night cheongsam twisted around him in a wrinkled mess. His teeth grinded together like nails on chalkboard, and his hair was quickly turning into a tangled mess beneath him from how often he turned his head side to side. What was most alarming was the fact that he was gripping his arms and his nails were actually _cutting into his flesh._ Rivets of red dripped down from his rapidly closing wounds, only for more to join as he unconsciously continued.

His teeth unclenched for a moment, just enough to let out another scream, and Ren scrambled off her bed and over to his. "Kanda-kun! Kanda-kun!" She shouted, placing her hands on top of his in an attempt to stop his self-mutilation. What was happening?! 

"Raaagh!" Kanda screamed again once she touched him and his hands dislodged themselves from his arms to clamp down on hers in a bruising grip. Ren winced but continued to shake him, even going as far as slapping his face. 

On the third slap, his eyes finally snapped open and he sat up in an instant. His chest heaved with each breath, clear signs of panic, but he was no longer screaming and she couldn't tell if this was an improvement. "Kanda-kun..?" She whispered, flinching when his hands reflexively tightened their grips on her arms. She was definitely bruised now.

He didn't answer, but from the pale moonlight streaming through the window, she could see something glistening near his eyes. He was crying. 

Biting her lip, Ren tried again with a different method. "Yu-kun..?" She called out gently, and finally received a response. His unseeing eyes jerked up to her face and focused on her. Slowly, as if realizing he was awake and not still caught in his dreams, he looked down at where he was strangling her arms and slowly released his grip. His eyes traced over the apparent wrinkles in the fabric from where his hands had practically ironed them down.

The last of his wounds had already disappeared into smooth satin skin again when he finally spoke. "...Sorry." He whispered hollowly, his hands falling limp into his lap. "Ignore me and go back to sleep."

Ren frowned and for once found that she couldn't just leave it be for his sake. "No," She began, his head shooting up to glare at her with outraged eyes. "I'm not just going to ignore this. You don't have to tell me anything, all right? That doesn't matter. What matters is that you're not at peace and I can't ignore that." 

She scooted on top of his bed and crossed her legs, him warily scooting back to do the same. "Just take a deep breath." She instructed quietly. "Breathe in...Hold...And slowly breathe out." She began to do so and even with a scowl, he copied her. His breathing wasn't as normalized as hers, which was expected since he had just calmed from a traumatic dream.

Soon enough though, his shoulders began to loosen up and the area between his brows smoothed out. The quiet of the night and the darkness of the room helped, and he slowly opened his eyes again. "...You're only helping me because I'm your pet project." He muttered self deprecatingly. "I'm not...I'm not really Japanese, you know. You shouldn't expect me to be like you."

Fluttering her eyes open, Ren stared at him for a few moments before looking down at her lap. "I know." She whispered. "I'm sorry, Yu- _Kanda-kun_. I'm sorry for being disappointed, I'm sorry for pushing our... _my_ culture onto you. I'm sorry I don't really know you." Her eyes welled up as the guilt swallowed her whole and she couldn't hold them back again. "I'm sorry..."

His breath hitched at the sight of her tears and grimaced. "Hey! Don't...Don't cry. Shit." He cursed at himself and looked away uncomfortably. "Shut up, OK? It's not something to be crying over. Save your tears for stupid shit." 

Wiping her face with a sleeve, Ren choked out a laugh. "Kanda-kun has a filthy mouth, and doesn't know what to do with crying girls." She remarked with a warbly voice.

Kanda glared at her indignantly. "What the fuck are you on about?"

She looked up at him with a watery smile. "Getting to know you without pushing my own perceptions." 

Taken aback, he could only stare at her in surprise. Frowning softly, he reached out and awkwardly patted her head like he had seen Cross do many times on their week long journey together. "...I don't mind you teaching me to be Japanese." He admitted with an embarrassed scowl. "I may as well find a connection in something of my identity. Just...don't expect me to be good at it." 

Blinking away her tears, Ren stared at him in wonder. He was...OK with it? He didn't hate her for being pushy? And he was touching her _willingly_? He had never voluntarily touched anyone from what she had seen; Not Marie, and certainly not Tiedoll. He wasn't comfortable with any signs of camaraderie or friendship. And yet...

Ren beamed. "I don't expect you to be." She teased, before launching herself off his bed and back into her own. "Good night, Kanda-kun!"

"Oi! Are you calling me stupid again?!"

"You're putting words in my mouth~." 

"Che...Night." 

Snuggling under her blanket, she smiled to herself as she heard him lay back down. It wasn't OK yet...but in time, maybe they can be real friends. 

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I'm changing Japanese text to italics + underlined, since I use italics for literally everything lol it gets confusing

Birds chirped outside as the early morning sun shined its pale rays through the lattice windows. She could faintly hear the sounds of other people in the Inn, and the town beyond, going about their business. A gong rang in the distance, signifying that it was 7AM.

When she emerged from her slumber, Ren immediately winced as the pain hit her. Her body _ached_.

She slowly turned her head to look at the other bed, and found it empty with the blanket folded. So Kanda had already woken up before her. At least he didn't have another nightmare...Hopefully. It was so frightening to see him writhe around, trapped in his own mind. What had happened to him to have given him such trauma? He hadn't wanted to talk about it either, which was fine, though she could admit to herself that she was immensely curious. She didn't want to be told to "fuck off" again.

Grunting as she slowly sat up, Ren pulled up her wrinkled sleeves and winced at the sight. They lined her upper arms in clear finger shapes, black and purple stark against the peachy white of her skin. "Haa...Kanda-kun sure is strong." She sighed, letting her sleeves drop back down. This wouldn't do. She would need to heal these before they left, otherwise the pain could interfere with her ability to fire her bow. 

Most of all, she couldn't let anyone know.

She could already imagine what would happen. Cross would gently grasp her arm, narrow his eyes at the bruises, and then his temper would snap. He would deem Kanda too dangerous to be near her and then he'd make sure they would be separated for the rest of their journey together, if he would even let them travel together anymore. Tiedoll would be worried sick about the two of them, and treat her like some kind of fragile doll. Marie would also be worried, and end up taking Kanda to the side to tell him he can't hurt girls like this.

Kanda...Kanda would be angry. Either at her for being "annoying," or at himself.

Pursing her lips, she stood up from her bed and immediately bit her lip when she jolted her left arm in the process. The pain shot up like lightning, leaving an uncomfortable throbbing afterward as if it was screaming. This wasn't good at all. 

Making her bed with moderate success, she sat down next to the window and bathed in the sun's warm rays for a moment. She hadn't attempted this kind of magic in a while now, so hopefully she wasn't too rusty. The view outside their shared room looked out toward the desolate mountains, meaning no one would see her either.

Unbuttoning her cheongsam top, Ren was left in a white halter top and pants. Letting the sun shine down on her, she closed her eyes and began to chant underneath her breath. "Om...Mubara...Naraka..." Energy. Redirect. Awareness. Health. Heal. 

The words were old, older than anything she knew of. The earliest records of this kind of magic dated back to at least 2000 years, and yet it was used so rarely that it hadn't evolved since. Cross had actually shown her his own magic where he summoned Grave of Maria from his own pocket dimension. Her grandfather only taught her the basics, but Cross actually explained that they were all she needed because it was more about will and intent when it came to barriers and healing. For himself however, he was actually a master taught by his. Or so he bragged.

In any case, it just meant that she could use Amaterasu's blessing to boost her magic.

Slowly lifting her right hand, Ren placed it on top of the bruises on her left arm and concentrated. The warmth of the sun grew hotter for a moment and a tendril of light separated and condensed to wrap around the bruise. Through half-lidded eyes, she noted how the energy was warm like where it had originated from, with a soothing after-sensation. Her skin tingled from where it had touched her, and slowly the bruise began to fade, leaving unmarred skin in its wake. 

When her left arm was healed, she began the process again on her right. It did use up a bit of her energy, but most of it came from the solar energy she was absorbing via Amaterasu-sama's blessing. Her stomach chose that exact moment to growl, admonishing her for not eating breakfast first, and she hummed.

What was for breakfast? Could she order some grilled salmon and a bean curd soup? She doubted there would be miso here, so bean curd was the next best thing. If they were in one place for longer, she would search the local markets to make this stuff herself, but since they were on their way to Europe, she doubted she would be able to savor her homeland's food for a long while. 

The door to the room creaked open and Kanda walked in, not being discreet at all with the amount of noise he made. "Oi, are you awake yet? I already ate breakfast-"

He stopped and stared wide eyed at her, and Ren stared right back, her heart stopping from mortification. There was a moment of silence between them, with him barging into the room unannounced and her half dressed in what was considered undergarments and pants. 

His eyes darted down without his permission to register the sight of slim and more importantly _bare_ shoulders that extended to a mostly _bare_ back, and his face quickly reddened to an unflattering shade that contrasted badly with the indigo of his hair. 

The levity of the situation finally dawned on them and Ren immediately screamed a high pitched shriek, sending the nearby birds flying. " _PERVERT!_ " She covered herself as best she could with her arms, scrambling to lift up her cheongsam again. "G-Get out!! Get out get out get out!"

Kanda jumped back in shock and covered his eyes. "I-I didn't mean to, OK?!" He shouted, his voice reverberating down the hallway. "I'm not a fucking pervert! Besides, there's nothing to look at, you flat-chested board!"

Oh, Amaterasu-sama. Please give her the patience to not kill him.

Not thinking straight, Ren used the rest of the solar energy and erected a barrier. "OUT!"

Flung back onto the wall, Kanda scrambled away but not before his panicked gaze caught sight of the purple-black that marred her right arm, just before the doors closed with a bang. He blinked in a stupor at the fact that the doors had closed on their own, or by magic, and scowled. Something caught his eye and he turned around to see a few other patrons of the Inn peeking out of their rooms at him, and he growled with a still-red face. "What?!" 

Even though they couldn't understand English, they quickly went back into their rooms and minded their own business, leaving him alone in the hallway. Sighing, he lightly slapped his face and shook his head."You didn't see anything. You didn't see anything. You didn't see anything-" Except he had, hadn't he? "That bruise..." He slowly looked down at his own hands, instinctively flexing his fingers, and frowned.

 

* * *

 

When it came time to check out at the inn, Kanda and Ren were stood as far from each other as possible, not looking in the other's direction. Ren made sure to dress in her Miko robes since she felt the most secure in them, while Kanda stuck with his blue cheongsam and pants. Marie in his exorcist uniform turned his head back and forth, trying to gauge why neither of them were talking when the day before, the young Miko had been attached to the samurai. Tiedoll stretched his arms in the air and sighed contently, even as his ratty brown cloak made a rip sound. "What nice weather we're having...I think we'll have a fine journey today."

" _Thank you so much for resting at my humble inn!_ " The innkeeper simpered in front of Cross, who had the look of a deeply satisfied cat in his black and gold uniform. " _And thank the young priestess for purifying it! I can already feel a difference in the air!_ "

" _Of course, of course._ " Cross answered with the charm of a snake oil salesman. " _We'll be back to uh, check up on the status of the wards, so long as there will be bed and board for us..._ "

 _"Oh most definitely!_ " The innkeeper agreed naively, missing the foreign man's victorious grin. " _Please come back again soon!_ "

" _Sure sure._ " The red haired man answered nonchalantly before turning to his companions. "All right..." His brow furrowed when he caught sight of his apprentice looking away with a shamed face. "Ren, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, Shishou..." Ren answered in a mumble, shouldering her bow securely. "Shall we go? Maybe we can make it to Western China tomorrow."

"We will have to start going north soon." Marie informed her. "I hope there won't be much trouble. It'll be difficult to navigate the roads through the mountains, for me at least." He chuckled self-deprecatingly. "I apologize if I become an inconvenience." 

"Nonsense." Tiedoll immediately disagreed with a stern frown beneath his bushy gray mustache. "As my son, we would never leave you behind!"

Ren blinked. "Son..?" She may be a little ignorant about the world and its people, but they looked nothing alike. Unless Tiedoll had adopted Marie..?

"Tch..." Kanda huffed on the opposite side of the group. "He's been trying to call both of us his 'sons.'" He spoke the word sarcastically, but he still refused to look in her direction, and she vowed the same.

"Let's just get going," Cross interrupted with an annoyed scowl, reminded of the fact that he had to travel with other men. "I want to get to Xinjiang _sometime_ this week, thanks. Renren, girly brat, take the lead."

The two youths grimaced. "Shishou-" Ren began but her master interrupted her. He was really good at being a nuisance. 

"Do as I say." Cross commanded with a frown. "Or you'll be taking care of _all_ Akuma attacks until we reach Europe."

 She resisted the urge to scowl and only nodded jerkily before heading out of the inn and turned west. Small footsteps followed behind her, followed by large heavy ones, which mean Kanda was closer to her than the adults in their group. 

By the time they made it out of the city, it was already afternoon. The sun shone brightly in the cloudless sky, a gleaming light blue all around. The forest was thick around them, with large trees looming with verdant leaves, but the road west was well-used and paved by a long history of trade. Occasionally, they would pass by other people who were on their way to the city they just left, and every single encounter left Ren in a tense state.

She still gave them a kind smile and a nod of her head, receiving some in return, but growing up in Japan meant anyone could be an Akuma in disguise. Usually, they wouldn't waste their time hiding in their human flesh since they held all the power, but here? They could be trying to infiltrate a populous place to increase their kill count.

None of them had been Akuma so far, thankfully, but if they were, she was confident in being able to destroy them. Not only her, but the people she traveled with were all fully capable as well, and for once in her life she felt safe being around others. For so long, it had just been her and her grandfather who could be trusted. Her koi were nice, but they had been regular fish. 

She paused.

That foreigner...Why would he have eaten her friends raw? Koi are a type of carp, so they are edible, but why not cook them first instead of eating them out of the pond? She could already gather he wasn't really human, even though he looked like one, but Akuma didn't eat anything except other Akuma, so what was he? He was headed to Edo...

"Oi."

Snapping out of her thoughts, she turned to see Kanda who had crossed his arms and looked away. "About earlier..." He began awkwardly, and she tensed, face already reddening at being reminded of their..."situation" in the morning. By Amaterasu-sama, she was so mortified and ashamed to have been seen almost naked by someone who wasn't her husband. Not that she wanted to be married anytime soon if at all, it was about the principal of the matter. 

His hand suddenly shot out and grasped her right upper arm, but not roughly. It was a light touch, almost as if he was afraid of harming her. 

Ren flinched anyway.

"I saw the bruise." Kanda stated quietly under his breath, making sure the adults behind them couldn't hear. "...I did that to you, didn't I? Last night when you woke me up." 

She pursed her lips and looked away, but he was insistent on an answer and shook her. "...Yes." She answered reluctantly, hearing him inhale sharply. "I had them on both my arms."

He let go to ball his hands into fists. "...Had?"

"They're gone now."

His face paled at the implications and he quickly snapped his head up to look at her in horror. "Wait, you mean you too..?" He breathed out. "Is that why they don't appear around you..?"

Ren blinked. Her too? "What..? I healed them. I told you as a Miko of Amaterasu-sama, I'm capable of healing injuries. It's best with sunlight since the sun is the biggest aspect of her domain, but anything that provides life is fine."

His pallor receded a bit, as if the news of her healing wasn't what he thought it was, but furrowed his brow a moment later. "Still...I'm dangerous. It's probably best you keep your distance from me or else the next time you wake me up, I may just accidentally skewer you through with Mugen."

She turned her head to look at him. The way the sun reflected off his long straight hair to shimmer blue, the paleness of his skin that was starting to tan lightly from the prolonged exposure to outdoor elements, to the flawless texture of it and how none of his wounds would ever leave a mark on him. To his eyes that shined an unnatural blue that went against his other physical looks, showing an old angry soul trapped inside a small body. 

Her lips twitched before slowly spreading into a peaceful smile. She can forgive him just this once for peeking on her. "Then that just means I can practice my healing." She stated nonchalantly, amused by him choking at her response. "I swore as a Miko to help people, and you're a person I want to help the most."

Kanda stared at her in disbelief. "...Are you batshit insane or something? I just said I might kill you, and you're just taking that in stride?"

Ren frowned. "'Batshit'? What does that mean?"

"No- Forget what it means," He argued, running a hand through his silky hair. "Any sane person would stay far away from me. Hell, you should've stayed away from me the second we met! I tried to kill you then, too! There has to be a limit to your 'kindness' or whatever." He looked away with a dark scowl. "I'm not worth your pity or whatever sick sense of duty you have. I just want to find that one person and..." He stopped, shutting his mouth with a click.

"That person?" She asked curiously. Was he opening up to her?

He pursed his lips and refused to look in her direction, only straight ahead on the currently empty road through southern China. "...A woman. I promised to find her, I think..." He admitted minutely, his fringe shadowing his eyes. "Forget it. Just stay away from me."

Ren frowned at his answer. A woman? His mother or sister, perhaps? It couldn't be a wife, he was too young. He was finally telling her things only for more questions to pop up. "Well..." She answered after a few minutes. "Sorry, but I can't. I promised to teach you everything there is to being Japanese, didn't I? So that means you're 'stuck' with me." She smiled brightly. "Ne, Kanda-kun?"

Kanda turned to gawk at her, his mouth wide open. "You really are crazy..." He breathed out weakly, his eyes darting around to look at those small invisible objects that seemed to avoid her presence, before coming up to some sort of conclusion in his head. "Whatever. If you want to die, then die!" He turned away with a scowl. "I'm not promising anything to an annoying suicidal idiot when I already have one to fulfill."

"Well, _I'm_ promising _you_ , so you don't have to." Ren immediately replied with what she thought was very sound logic. "Maybe if you stop being such an _idiot_ , you would be able to find this woman faster."

His head swerved back to her, his ponytail flying, and glared at her. "You just insulted me, didn't you?" He growled, his grip tightening around Mugen.

She smiled. "See? You're learning!" She grabbed his hand and tugged him forward. "Why don't I teach you more? C'mon!"

He stumbled after her. "Oi!"

Several meters behind them, Tiedoll sighed fondly at the sight of the two youths. "Ah, they're cute...Marie?"

"Yes, master?" The large man answered his master with a sweatdrop.

"How do you feel about having a sister?"

"Fuck you, Froi." Cross immediately butted in with a scowl, glaring darkly at the young samurai whose hand was grasped by his _young female_ apprentice.

 

 

* * *

* * *

 

_I'm bad with drawing kids and backgrounds, so this was...hrm. Anyway, I wanted to draw kid Kanda and kid Ren at least once together!_


	15. Chapter 15

If she was being brutally honest, Ren was surprised this hadn't happened sooner.

Their five-man journey together had been going well. Too well.

Nearing the border that separated Kazahkstan and China, they decided to stop in a small town named Ili. Even though the region was filled with similar people with olive skin tones and dark hair and eyes, Ren was stilled to a stupor when she caught sight of the first blond haired person. Their skin was as pale as milk and their hair was so pale that it was like morning sunlight. They also towered over many of the townsfolk, only rivaled by her Shishou and Marie.

Cross looked down at her gaping face and snorted. "Seeing your first Russian? Their women certainly are a cold beauty." He patted her head with a gloved hand. "Don't stare too much, Renren. It's rude."

Clicking her mouth shut, Ren looked down in embarrassment and mumbled a sorry. She knew it was rude, but even though she had been outside of Japan for over two months now, she had really only been surrounded by other people who looked like her. Her Shishou, Tiedoll, and Marie being the only exceptions. 

With one man having flaming red hair, another with a bushy mustache, and the last having a deep skin tone, they stood out like beacons in the sea of dark hair and eyes. Women looked over to their group and whispered to one another, their hands stopping their children from coming any closer. The men were worse; looking at them with suspicion and the occasional farming tool in their hands. 

The village was small, largely homogeneous, and although it was centered around an intercontinental train station, the locals weren't very welcoming to strangers.

Still, they needed a place to stop and replenish their supply. Kanda had finished the last of the deer jerky this morning and their waterskins had just run out as well, so even if they wanted to, they couldn't keep going without risk of starvation or dehydration. 

Ren rubbed her arms as another cold breeze swept through the street, wishing her cheongsam wasn't so thin. They also needed more protective clothing, at least for her and Kanda. While the men in the group had their exorcist uniforms to keep them warm, she was forced to double up on her cheongsams since they had nothing warmer. From this little town, she could see tall mountains looming in the north, almost blocking the sky with their snow blanketed peaks. It was summer but it was as if winter never left.

Strangely enough, Kanda didn't seem very cold, even though he was in what was only one layer.

Yet another mystery that Ren was just willing to accept she may never know the answer to, but she was free to be a little jealous of how impervious he was.

Stopping in the village square, the sun shining high in the sky, Tiedoll turned to the two youths in their group and took out a sheepskin pouch from his bag, and placed it in Kanda's hand. "Marie and I will be at the train station to get our tickets. Hopefully the Black Order's connections will allow us to board with minimal problems." He smiled down at them. "Why don't you two go buy something to eat, perhaps a coat or two? Europe won't be as cold as here, but it will be a while yet until we reach Ukraine."

Furrowing her brow, Ren peeked to the side toward her master. "And you, Shishou?" She asked curiously. What was he going to do?

Cross eyed the square and immediately perked up once he caught sight of what he was looking for. "I'll be doing something very important." He informed them, a smirk growing wider on his face. 

Kanda followed his gaze and rolled his eyes. "A bar. Of course. Why did I think for a second you were actually gonna do something important?" He asked sarcastically.

The wayward general smacked the boy behind his head, ignoring his yell of indignation. "Quiet, Pretty Boy. Maybe when you actually grow into a man, you'll understand." He taunted before turning to his own apprentice and holding out his golden golem. "Ren, take Tim with you. He'll guide you back if you get lost."

The Miko accepted the golem in her hands, giggling when he fluttered up to nuzzle against her cheek. "Understood. Please don't drink too much." She warned him with a small frown. "I would rather you get drunk on the train ride instead of a random bar."

Cross let out a booming laugh, a laugh that echoed throughout the town and up into the mountains. "You're learning at least." He playfully rubbed her head before kneeling down so they were face to face. "Now," He whispered loudly, making sure the rest of their group could hear. "If Pretty Boy attempts anything perverted, you knee him in the crotch, then take your bow or his sword, whichever's more convenient, and hit him over the head with it."

Temple pulsing, Kanda stomped up behind him. "You bastard," He growled. "Why the fuck would I ever 'try' anything?! I'll say it again, _you're_ the only pervert here!" 

Cross scowled and made sure to push the rambunctious youth when he stood up, already lighting up a cigarette as he made his way to the bar. Since it was around 2PM, there weren't many patrons in it, which meant he had free reign of whatever he wanted to drink. Some of the locals gave them dirty looks for being loud, and gave him a wide berth when he passed by.

Marie only sighed and tilted his head toward the train station. "Let's not waste time; it sounds like the trains are being prepared for departure soon. Master, shall we?"

Glaring tiredly at the other general's retreating back, Tiedoll turned to his older apprentice and nodded. "Lets. Yu, Ren, meet back here in two hours, OK?" They waved to the two youths and headed toward what was easily the largest building in town to acquire their ride to Europe.

Left alone, Ren looked over at Kanda's hands. "How much did they give us?"

He opened the bag to show at least 5 guinea as well as some local currency. "Plenty." He answered, tying it up again. "Enough to get whatever we want."

Biting her lip, she surveyed the town square and the few shops that were open. "Could we get something warmer to wear? It's freezing..."

Kanda snorted and raised a brow. "This isn't cold at all." 

"For you maybe." She retorted with a shiver, taking a step closer to steal his body heat. "But I'm not used to it being this cold. I've never even seen so much snow until now." And it was true. Kanazawa was smack dab right in the middle of Japan's western coast, which meant the air was always just warm enough to stave off the worst of any snowstorm. At best, the ground would be covered in a fine powder, just enough to be used for snow treats.

Grumbling slightly, he looked around and took her hand in his. "This way."

Ren looked up from behind him and saw he was leading her to a clothing shop, the outside covered in advertisements that she could barely read. It held just enough of the right kanji and English words that she could make out "sheep" and "coat," which made her perk up. Sheepskin coats? 

The shopkeeper gave them a confused look since they looked like two kids wandering in without any adult supervision, and the language barrier didn't help. Ren was able to do enough gestures to make them understand though, and came out snuggled in a warm coat that went down just past her rear. The sleeves were a little long, but she just folded them up so they sat at her wrists. "Aaa..." She sighed contently, making sure her bow was slung securely on the new coat.

Kanda raised a brow at her pink cheeks and happy smile, their money pouch just a tad lighter. "Done whining about the cold?"

"Be quiet..." Ren snapped back with no heat behind her words. "It's nice to be warm again."

He rolled his eyes and began walking down the street, his eyes always searching around them. "It's not like you were gonna die from being chilly. We've always stopped at an inn along the way."

It was true. Aside from the week of no civilization between meeting Kanda's group and the trade town with the inn she had purified, Cross always made sure they stopped in a town during the night to sleep at an inn. He refused to travel around like a "plebeian" and that roughing it out was for people who didn't have the Black Order to yank around.

He liked his luxuries too much, if she was being honest.

"Still," She answered a moment later. "Why aren't you cold?" She picked at the thin sleeve of his cheongsam. "You should be freezing..."

Kanda shrugged her off and looked away with a frown. "I'm not a sensitive baby like you, I guess." 

It's amazing how he dodged her question and managed to insult her in one sentence.

Sighing, Ren looked up at Timcampy who had nestled into her hair. "Timmu, are you hungry?"

The little golem perked up and flew in front of her face to nod. Even without a face, he was very cute and expressive in his actions, and it made her grin. "OK, let's look for something to eat. Maybe we can get something for Tiedoll-san and Marie-san as well!" None for her master. If he can go get drunk at a bar, he can order some snacks while he's there.

Kanda trailed behind her and gave the golem an odd look. "...Is it supposed to eat?" He asked a moment later. "Does it have a stomach?"

She shrugged, heading toward a meat skewer stand. "I don't know. Since Timmu is a special golem, I assume that any food he consumes fuels his animation spell. He is made of magic, after all."

"Huh..."

The stand also advertise lamb meat, and she held up six fingers to the cook. Holding one out for Timcampy to eat, she handed one to Kanda and wrapped the leftover three before taking a bite of her own. The meat was succulent and juicy, with hints of fat to add in a burst of flavor. Plus, it just came off the charcoal grill in the stand, so it was fresh and piping hot, making it a great little meal to have in this cold town.

Kanda frowned down at his skewer but ate it anyway. "Not bad..." He reluctantly remarked.

Swallowing her mouthful, Ren blinked. "You don't seem to enjoy what we've eaten. What do you like?"

He shrugged. "Haven't tried much of anything to say. Salty stuff, I guess." He threw his stick in the nearby garbage can and looked up at the sky to note how the sun was a little lower than before. "We have another hour before we have to get back." 

"Let's look around then." She suggested, already heading down another street away from the village square and more toward the outskirts. "This may be the only time we come through here, so we should try out as much as we can."

"Che..." He grudgingly followed after her with a deep frown. "What's the damn point? This is just a small town that'll be forgotten sooner or later. There isn't even anything to see except for sheep!" He gestured wildly toward the pastures where they could see several of the aforementioned animal roaming around, eating grass. 

Ren oohed and peered closer, but a large hand stopped her from taking a step forward. It belonged to a very buff man, holding a pitchfork in his other hand. "Whoa there, don't get too close or you'll spook them." He warned kindly in English. "First time seeing them?"

Blinking, the Miko took a step back and bowed slightly. "Yes, mister. I apologize if we scared them." She tugged Kanda to bow with her and with a grumble, he did.

Taken aback by her politeness, the farmer let out a small laugh. "It's all right. Would you like to pet one? She was my..." He hesitated, a dark gloom appearing in his eyes. "She was my wife's favorite."

"If that's all right." Ren answered courteously, noting how he said was but decided to stay quiet about it. It wasn't her business.

Bringing two fingers into his mouth, the farmer whistled a specific sound that made one of the sheep perk up and slowly amble their way. Its wool was pure white while its exposed face and legs were a warm cream, showing off its large black eyes. 

Ren held in a gasp and slowly reached out her hand to it once it came close enough, and it licked her hand. It was kind of gross, but her disgust was trampled by how cute it was. "Waaa... _So cute_." She blushed, giggling when it bleated at her. Timcampy fluttered closer, and showed off his impressive teeth at it.

Kanda wrinkled his nose and took a step back away from them. "Fucking gross..."

The farmer chuckled and patted the sheep. "Isn't she the cutest? I could never sell her or eat her, my wife would used to yell at me to keep this one."

Again with his wife. Ren was just going to nod but Kanda beat her to it. "'Was'?" He asked with a raised brow.

Shoulders slumping, the farmer nodded. "She passed away a few days ago. It's been hard, but my son has been distraught since. He hasn't spoken or eaten, it's like he's a different person now..." He sighed deeply. "It's almost like I lost both of them..."

Footsteps approached them and they turned to see a teenage boy heading their way, dressed similarly to the farmer. He walked like in a trance; there was no purpose to his footsteps and no confidence, no shyness, nothing. His expression didn't help either; his eyes were glazed over and he held a hollow look on his face. 

Was this the son he mentioned?

"Ah," The farmer smiled weakly. "Lido, how are the potatoes coming? Think we have enough to sell?"

The son, Lido, didn't answer him, but once he caught sight of the two Japanese youths standing behind his father, he froze. His entire body went still, and not a breath entered or left him.

Several things happened at once that would haunt Ren forever.

Immediately, a large and inhuman grin spread across Lido's face, warping his skin and muscles. Faster than any of them could comprehend, a large gray cannon emerged from his chest and fired at them. "EXORCISTS!" He screeched at them.

"Shit!" Kanda cursed and immediately dodged to the right, pushing Ren to the left as he did so, and they were able to avoid the blast. 

Landing on her side, Ren scrambled to her feet, her bow already slung off her shoulder and into her left hand, when she looked up and froze.

The farmer hadn't dodged.

He stood there, a large hole in his abdomen caused from the missile, and he slowly reached out toward the Akuma that had taken his son's skin. "Li...do..." He croaked, a tear falling from his eye before his entire being exploded into dust.

"No..." She whispered. The kind farmer that had been nothing but full of smiles and generosity, letting a stranger pet his sheep. The kind farmer that had just lost his wife, and felt alienated from his son. The kind farmer whose son had been tricked by the Millennium Earl in reviving his mother. The kind farmer whose dead wife now resided in his dead son, with the goal of killing humans.

"NO!" She screamed, activating Terasu without a command and pulling the string back to summon an arrow. A swirl of green energy solidified in her right hand and without pause, she let it loose in the direction of the Akuma.

"Mugen!" Kanda activated his sword and charged in after her arrow, dodging through the barrage of bullets the Akuma shot at them. The metal balloon groaned as it rotated in their direction, and pointed its barrels in every direction before opening fire. The young samurai defended himself by turning his blade, and awaited the force.

The explosions were loud around them, destroying the compact earth and surrounding buildings. Some of the sheep bleated in fear and ran away, but most weren't able to escape the shower of gunfire and all that was left of them when the smoke cleared, were piles of dust.

Horrified at the damage, Ren knocked another arrow back. "Amaterasu-sama, _bless this servant of yours_." She whispered. Pouring every ounce of her energy into it, she shot her arrow and watched with a numb heart as it pierced the shell of the Akuma. 

In a blaze of green and red, it exploded with a loud bang, leaving them in a dead silence.

Letting out a slow breath, Kanda sheathed Mugen and silently turned to her with a solemn frown. Ren didn't say anything. Couldn't say anything, as she stared down at the pile of dust that had once been a human.

She had thought...She had so foolishly thought that just because she had the power to fight Akuma now, that she could single handedly save the world. That with Amaterasu-sama's power and blessing behind her, that no one else would get hurt so long as she was around. 

She was a fool.

Her face was stained with tears before she knew it, and a sob escaped out of her mouth. "We...didn't even know his name..." She choked out, falling to her knees. "He was so kind to us, even though he was sad for his wife's death...His _son_..." She clenched her eyes. " _This world is so cruel...It's the Millennium Earl's fault. His unnatural magic has ruined us..."_

Footsteps came closer until they stopped right in front of her, and a hand landed on her head. Her eyes fluttered open and through blurred tears, she saw Kanda had knelt in front of her. He didn't say anything, didn't understand much of what she had said. 

But he still offered her comfort in the only way he knew how, and at that moment, Ren broke down and leaned into his chest. She felt him tense up at the contact. "Sorry..." She apologized shakily. "Just...A few minutes, please. _Please, Kanda-kun_..."

His hand slid down to her back and patted her without a word. She could tell he was uncomfortable and extremely awkward at this, but she didn't care. She only cared that another person was with her right now, alive and breathing. Even Timcampy fluttered down to sit on her shoulder, using one of his wings to wipe a tear off her face.

She was only 12 years old, and he was 10. 

But the world won't wait for them to grow up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof...i made myself cry to write that last part out lol
> 
> On the note of guinea- in episode 78 or something where Allen meets the twins, they mention how 100 guinea was a lot and then Allen counters saying he had to pay 300 guinea for Cross' debts, and everyone freaked out at the amount, so I'm only doing an estimate of how much a guinea is worth. It has to be an international currency since it's used throughout Europe and Asia, which means the value in just one coin (I'm going to say it's a coin, probably made of gold, because banknotes wouldn't be worth as much) is high. I priced their inn stay at 12 guinea (note that it's an inn in a bustling trade town so their rates are more expensive) so let's say that 1 guinea = $1 (1880s rate) = $20 today in present times.
> 
> (Am I pulling these numbers unsubstantiated? Somewhat 8D)


End file.
